Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare
by gabarella-chan
Summary: "Why are you doing this?" I asked, fully aware of him pinning me to the wall. "Because, you're mine," he breathed. That would have been true if I didn't already belong to Phil. Jeff/Maria.
1. Through The Looking Glass

**AN:** 'Kay, so I've been wanting to do a fic like this for a while. It's really almost new to me, but I have enough inspiration so it'll probably turn out the way I planned. I hope you guys are up for that whole forbidden love kind of theme, cause this is where it's headed. Please review. (:

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**Chapter One;**

**Through The Looking Glass**

A cold sweat. I just woke up in a cold sweat. It's little things that happen to me that can make my body react so unwillingly. I mean, when's the last time I've ever woken up sweating? Not since I was sixteen. Maybe it was because I hadn't known _him_-- But that didn't matter, the point was, was that I was having these crazy, out-of-nowhere dreams. Actual dreams about Jeff Hardy. Something wasn't right here. Phil never had this affect on me. Okay, sure I'd fallen in love with him at one point, but it wasn't the same type of affect that I'm feeling with Jeff. With Phil, his affect was sweet, honest, and trustworthy, but with Jeff it was more powerful than that.

And I'm pretty sure he has no idea.

"Ria?" A familiar, concerned voice said.

I rolled over in my twin sized bed to see Phil standing at my door. His expression was fragile, looking like it was going to break if I didn't answer him.

"Yeah," I said, my voice barely audible. "What's wrong?"

Without answering, he paced his way towards me, carefully gesturing for me to make room for him to sit on the bed.

"Well, I was just about to ask you that. And--" He paused, looking easily distracted by something. Apparently me. I suddenly got why he was looking at me so strangely. He lifted up his cool right hand and slowly wiped my forehead.

"You're sweating." He stated. Thanks Captin Obvious. "You never sweat."

"Yeah, I just had a bad nightmare," I lied. It would without a doubt be his nightmare, but for me, it was heaven.

"_You _get nightmares?" He asked, sudden sarcasim struck his voice.

"Yes, Phil," I sighed. "Not everyone's perfect." I pointed out.

He scoffed. "You're perfect."

I rolled my eyes while I got off the bed. I could still feel Phil's eyes staring at me.

"I'm going to take a shower," I said, grabbing my personal items and practically squeezing into the tiny bathroom. Gosh, this hotel was cheap.

After I was done showering and was fully dressed, I walked out of the bathroom smiling expecting Phil to still be there.

And he wasn't. But like usual, there was a note. I picked it up and read it aloud.

"_Maria,_

_I went to the gym to meet up with Jeff. I'll be back later._

_Phil."_

I sighed in frustration. This is how Phil always was. He'd visit me every morning, make small talk and then he'd just bolt. I quickly glanced at the note before balling it up and throwing it to the bare floor. Now what was I to do?

* * *

Once Phil was back from the gym, it was time for me to go meet up with Ashley. Yesterday we'd planned to go to the bar to have a nice drink and talk for a while. Of course I'd agreed to go. I had alot to vent about, and alcohol would do help me do just that.

"Maria, you know this really upsets me." I glanced up at Phil who was intentionally glaring at me. I was so used to that stare, that I knew what was coming next. The whole 'Straight-Edge-Lifstyle-Talk'.

"Look, Phil," I started, putting down my mirror. "I know this goes against everything you stand for, but..."

"So why are you doing it?" He asked, eagerly cutting me off.

Was he really expecting me to answer that? Why else would I? Because I was thirsty?

"Because... I want to feel good, you know? Relaxed..." I said, hoping that that was the convo-breaker.

He suddenly got off the bed and made his way to me. He began running his fingers through my hair. Staring at me with those big, sad eyes, shoving guilt all the way down my throat.

"Ria, honey, I can make you relaxed. I can make you feel _good _without the alcohol," he persuaded.

"Yeah, I know but... This... This is kind of like a Girl's Night Out thing. I won't drink tonight if that's what you want," I sighed. I was relieved when his tense face loosened up and softened.

"Thank you, Maria. It means alot," he said.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, giving him a small peck on the lips before grabbing my purse and heading for the door. "Just don't do anything _funny _while I'm gone, okay?"

"You got it," he promised.

* * *

Shock overcame me as I felt a pair of hands shake me from behind. I was one the verge of screaming, but relief struck me as I recognized the upbeat voice.

Ashley's.

"Ria!" She exasperated in my ear. Although I didn't scream, I did flinch.

"Aw, damn it, Ashley," I exclaimed as she turned me to face her. "You almost gave me a fucking stroke!"

"My bad," she said sounding offended. When she saw my expression relax she smiled again.

"Want a drink? My treat," she offered. My mind then flashed to Phil. His disapproving words replayed over and over in my mind again. His relieved face when I promised not to disappoint him. Lord only knows his reaction would be if he saw me stumbling back to him drunk.

But he wouldn't have to worry about that tonight, would he?

"Um, no thanks. It's probably not the best idea," I assured her. Her expression went numb.

"Oh, I get it..." She began. "Big Boss Brooks said his slave can't drink, huh?" She contradicted. I rolled my eyes in disgust.

"Phil's not controlling me," I stated. Her face beamed again.

"How'd you know I was talking about Phil?" She asked, sudden amusement lit her face. With the innocent expression on my face, and the smile on hers, I knew I was caught.

"Maria, stop behaving all the time. You need a little fun in your life," she said as we walked into the bar. "Phil won't know if you have one little drink." Yeah, right. It was totally impossible for me to have just _one _little drink, and half of the time they wouldn't be drinks, they would be more like shots, straight liquor at the most.

"Ash, I promised him."

"Your loss. All I'm saying is, that soon you're really going to need it," she warned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" My voice was both curious yet shaky.

She didn't respond. She just crossed her arms and stared. "Just come on," she finally said, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stool.

We'd had a small conversation discussing how I was going to do my next interview.

"So who are you interviewing?" She asked. Curse her for making me say his name.

"Um... Jeff," I said, failing to sound casual.

"Hardy?" She asked, I could see her lip curving into a smirk.

"Yes," I breathed. "Jeff Hardy." She was fully smiling now.

"Ooh, don't get too attactched," she teased.

"_What?_" I asked, practically choking on my Colada. Virgin, of course.

"You know how addicting the Hardy's can be." Do I.

"Um, not really," I lied. "I hardly even speak to them. Well, except for Matt."

Her eyes widened. "I hope you haven't done anything funny with him, Kanellis," she responded playfully.

"Oh, please, Ashley. You know I'd never do that." Humph, like I'd want to.

"Good," she said, before ordering another glass of whatever fancy wine she was drinking.

I don't know why, but my eyes felt the urge to flash over to the table next to us. How coincidentally the person I wasn't expecting and certainly not wanting to see was at that exact table. There they were. Matt, and the ever so addicting Jeff Hardy. I quickly turned my head away from them, and once I caught another peek at them, they were both staring. Well, Matt was a little too occupied gawking at Ashley, and Jeff was too busy staring at me. He was staring at me so hard, and with such concentration, that it was as if he was looking right through me.

I was sure he'd think I would look away, but that would just make me a coward. It took Ashley to get me to stop looking at him... For a second.

"Maria, what are you looking at?" She asked, following my gaze and smiling when she saw what I was doing.

"Nothing," I said, looking away, embarrassed.

"You were looking at Jeff, weren't you?" She asked, her voice was exciting, hyped-up.

When I didn't answer, she suddenly got up and made her way towards them.

"Ashley, what are you _doing?!_" I whispered, hoping she could hear. She glanced at me and winked. Obviously she had.

She went to whisper something in Jeff's ear, then sat down next to Matt. When I looked at Jeff again, he was chugging down his beer quite aggressively.

Boy, was I going to murder Ashley Massaro.

* * *

**AN: **Thanks for reading the first chapter, guys. I really appreciate the reviews. So please and thank you. (:


	2. Strangers Making The Most of The Dark

**AN: **So, thanks guys for the reviews. I really appreciated them, so please review this chapter as well. Thanks. (:

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER TWO:**

**Strangers Making The Most of The Dark**

"Phil?" I whispered as I snuck back into my hotel room. I heard something drop as I approached the kitchen area. Apparently Phil was trying to make something of some sort. Once he spotted me, he paced over to me, his expression full of curiosity.

"Ria, did you have a good time?" If he was trying to sound casual, it wasn't working. I could always tell when Phil was concerned or actually interested. The only thing he might be interested in is if I'm sober or not.

"Um," I hesitated. "Yeah, I had a pretty _decent _time." I said as I slid off my black leather coat. His expression flashed to one I've never seen before. And so were the words that came out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he said, trying hard not to hold his head down. I threw him an utterly confused look.

"For what?" I asked. His eyes met mine.

"For ruining your fun, you know. You could have _drank _if you wanted to," he said flatly.

I smiled, trying to ease whatever tension was growing.

"It's okay, Phil. I survived without it." As I walked into the kitchen, he followed. I motioned my hands to the counter, it looked like refridgerator threw up. As I looked over at him he looked suddenly amused.

"Okay, so you know Jeff's birthday is in like a couple of weeks, right?" He asked, his smirk rising. My mind flashed back over to what happened earlier. I couldn't speak, so I just nodded.

"Yeah, well, he's put me in charge of the cake. Apparently that wasn't such a good idea," he chuckled, almost choking on his last words.

"It's okay hon, I can't do any better," I replied, giving him a peck on the cheek. "Besides, Jeff's a do-all-for-himself kind of guy. I'm sure there's a lot more important things than a cake." My sudden knowledge of Jeff scared me.

"Since when do you know about Jeff?" He asked, his voice playful, yet still curious.

"Since you always come home telling me his stories," I clarified. He just nodded.

"Well, you do have an interview with him tomorrow, don't you?" He asked, turning to me.

"Yeah," I gulped. "Why?"

"Maybe you can break the news to him," he said, eyeing the destroyed 'cake'.

I laughed, "Sure." He moved in closer to give me a quick peck on the lips.

"Goodnight, Ria," he shouted, heading out the door, to _his _hotel room.

"'Night," I said, fully aware that he couldn't hear me.

--

As I reached the Raw arena, I sighed in annoyance as I saw Ashley talking to Jeff. His back was facing me, so I was clearly safe. That was until big mouth Ashley gave it away.

"Hey, Maria!" She shouted, as soon as she spotted me. My heart began racing as I saw Jeff slowly turn his body to face me. His expression was unreadable. It looked like he was nervous, he was twitching. He turned back to Ashley and muttered something before walking away, not moving his face an inch to look at me again.

"What's up with _him_?" I asked, as soon as I thought he was gone. She snapped her head back to the way he left.

She shrugged, "I don't know. Ever since last night he's been extremely weird. Especially whenever I mention you." I wasn't sure why, but I stiffened.

"That's um... Disturbing," I muttered. I glared at her as soon as I sensed she was smirking.

And she was.

"Don't think I forgot what you did," I said, my teeth clenched. She put on a fake offended look.

"And what did I do?" She asked, still smirking.

"You probably told Jeff some lie," I concluded. She chuckled.

"That's not true. Believe me, everything I told him was the absolute truth. Of course if Phil knew, he wouldn't be too happy," she said, clucking her tounge.

I was more than glaring now.

"And why not?" I asked, fully annoyed.

"You'll never admit it, so what's the point?" She teased.

"Don't irratate me, Massaro. You know how crazy I can get."

She chuckled again. "Maria Kanellis: Crazy. Now that's a word to describe you," she said, sarcasim lit her voice.

I lightly punched her on the arm. "Ow, that _really _hurt," she joked.

I sighed, ignoring her ingnorance. "Let's just get in the arena so I can prepare."

"Yeah, cause you've got your big _session _with Jeff," she laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not _session. _It's an interview," I explained. She was the one to roll her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Ria."

--

_Breathe, breathe._ I reminded myself as I sat in my locker room, waiting for my call. This wasn't such a big deal, except for the whole talking to Jeff part. I couldn't even find him after my conversation with Ashley. It's like he disappeared. Now that I expected.

The knock on the door broke my thoughts.

It was time.

"Um, Maria?" The camera man asked.

"Yes?"

"Sorry for making you practice and everything, but..." He trailed off. "Vince canceled the segment. He's going to have Michael interview Jeff."

"Cole? Michael Cole?" I asked, laughing to hide my disbelief. A frown appeared on his face.

"Yes, Michael Cole. He's going to be replacing you."

"Why?"

"Apparently someone convince Vince to replace you."

Now, I wonder who that could have been. So much for hyping me up for nothing but utter disappointment.

"Um, thanks." I said, pushing past him to head for Vince's office.

"There's no point of that Ms. Kanellis! He won't change his mind," he shouted. I wasn't listening.

Why was I doing this? Why was I trying to embarrass myself even more? The answer; I don't know why. Maybe I was possessed or something.

After about five knocks on the office door and about two "Hold on's," I finally waited, still inpatient. As I played with the pleats of my dark denim mini skirt, I didn't even notice the door swing open, although that somewhat familiar, sweet, musky scent sent shivers down my spine. As I slowly looked up, I was face to face with Jeff Hardy.

We both just stood there.

Silent.

Staring.

Impatiently.

He began shaking again, almost twitching. I could tell that he was struggling to get the words out. Or maybe he just wanted me to move out of the way.

As soon as I thought he was going to speak, he found someway to get through me and was already down the hall. Still murmuring the same thing I heard earlier. What was his issue?

I sighed as I stepped into 's office. Regretting it all the way.

"And what would you want ?" His aggressive, raspy voice musky.

"I want to know why you've changed my segment with Jeff," I said. Being polite wasn't exactly going to make Vince so happy.

"Now is that any of your business, Maria?" He asked, as soon as I was about to answer, he cut me off. "No, it's not. So you can leave now," he said, shooing me with his hand.

"Have a good day, Sir," I said, full sarcasim hitting my voice. Asshole.

Could this day get any worse? No doubts about it.

As I walked out of Vince's office, I could see Matt, obviously texting on his phone.

He abruptly looked up from the text and glanced at me.

"Hey, Maria," he said.

"Um, hi, Matt," I said, uneasy. Everyone was keeping some sort of secret communication from me. Both Hardy's looked angry with me for what reason I do not know.

He pushed himself of the wall and he stood straight.

"Can I ask you something?" He said, apparently in a rush.

"Um... Sure," I replied. I had to brace myself.

"Have you recieved an invite to Jeff's party?" He asked.

"...Well no, but Phil's going..."

He reached into his back pocket and slid out a folded piece of paper. He hesitated, and then handed it to me.

"Here. But don't tell Jeff or anything. I don't think he'd want you there." Gulp. That hurt. I tried to hide my saddened expression.

"Well, he restated, it would be best. But if Phil's going he'd want you to be there with him right?"

"It's likely. But if Jeff doesn't want me there, I can always stay home," I offered.

He chuckled. "Stay home? At a hotel? That's no way to spend your day off. Just come," he insisted.

I thought about it for a moment. Jeff doesn't think it's best if I come. Yet, Matt thinks I should. Phil would want me there, too right? And who else would Ashley annoy other than me? Three over rules one.

"Okay," I said. "I'll come."

His smile faded as he looked over my shoulder.

"I'll see you around, then." He said, before walking away.

What was with him? What was up with his brother?

"You'll see, Ria, soon." I heard a voice from behind me. As I spun around I rolled my eyes at Ashley.

"See what?"

"Maybe Jeff'll tell you what's wrong," she replied, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Maybe not."

"And you won't? What did you even tell him?"

"I told him the truth. Maybe if you listen to your feelings, you'll know what I said. Until then... You'll just need more signs."

Yeah, like I haven't got those before.

--

**AN: **Review? Please and thank you. (:


	3. More Than Just A Passing Glance

**AN: **Thanks for the reviews, guys. Here's your treat... (:

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER THREE:**

**More Than Just A Passing Glance**

"Why do you women always take five hours just to get dressed?" Phil had been ranting his speech about how ridiculous it is for women to take their sweet time getting ready. But I had to admit, it was pretty unnecessary. But it wasn't me who was wasting time, it was big mouth.

"Ash, will you please hurry up, how long does it take you to touch up your hair?" I said after closing the door Phil was in front of.

"It takes a while. I _do _have highlights you know. And I have to brighten them up for Matt," she pointed out. "You'll have to get used to it sooner or later." If that's the case, I pick later.

"It's just Matt. You've been dating for like... months."

She promptly put her blowdryer down. "Yes, but this is a _party. _I want to look my best." After staring me down for a few seconds, she continued her hair. I sighed and sat on the edge of the sink. I couldn't believe that it was actually Jeff's birthday. I couldn't believe I was even going to his party. Who knows how Jeff is at night? What if he acts the same way, what if he yells at me or kicks me out? That would be humiliating. But in the end, I'd probably kick Matt's ass for telling me to come. More like tempting.

"What's wrong?" Ashley asked briefly noticing my concentrated expression. As I looked up at her, her hair was completed. It was straighted and each shade of pink, black, and blonde stood out more than they ever had. She would sure be getting attention tonight. As for me, with my sparkly black mini dress and my matching stilettos, my auburn hair in a mixture of a more wavy style, I swore I'd barely get noticed.

"Nothing. I'm just feeling guilty that I didn't get Jeff a present," I lied. Although, I really didn't get him a gift. "It's rude."

She chuckled. "Trust me, Ria, there's only one thing he'd want from you," she said under her breath.

"What's that?" I asked, my eyes full of wonder. She folded her arms over her perfectly fitted silk lavender tee, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, are you going to tell me or not?" I asked, all signs of patience gone. She clucked her tounge.

"Let's just say, showing up is good enough." Of course I would have no choice but to. I couldn't let everyone see that I was a coward, especially Jeff. Two things I knew he didn't like: Cowards and Liars. Both of which I am.

"That's one thing I'm dreading," I whispered, opening the door. Surprised that Phil was still there looking completely impatient.

"Are you done now?" He asked, his tone anxious. I nodded, and he sighed. He suddenly kissed my forehead.

"You look stunning, Maria," he said, looking deeply into my eyes. I couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks." I began to walk, but he pulled me back and looked me in the eyes again. "I mean it," he said. "And I appreciate you coming to Jeff's party, with me. It means a lot," he stated. If only I could believe that.

"Well, you mean a lot. I couldn't stand to let you down," I said. But I also couldn't stand to let Matt down, Ashley, and more importantly, Jeff.

"Good," he sighed. "Ready?"

Not at all. "Yeah. Let's go."

The only words going through my mind were: _Damn, damn, damn._

* * *

As me, Ashley, and Phil were inside the Hardy's household, Ashley pulled me to the side.

"Ria, you know that Jeff doesn't know you're here, right?" She said, almost in a panicked voice.

"Yeah, I know. What's wrong?" I said, in full anxiety.

"What are you going to do all night? Hide?"

My forehead creased as I was about to speak another voice interuppted me.

"She's going to hang out with me." Ashley was smiling, so I knew who that was.

Matt winked once he saw my expression.

"Hang out with you?" I asked, looking him up and down, scathingly.

His expression was innocent. "Yeah, and Ashley too."

"How can we do that without Jeff seeing me?" I asked, my hands on my hips.

"We can't. He'll see you," he said, no doubt in his voice.

"Won't he be mad?" I asked, watching the range of change in his face.

He said his next words very carefully; slowly. "He'd probably be more mad with me than with you."

Gee, that makes me feel better. Not.

"Come on, cheer up," Ashley said after moments of being silent. "I'm sure he'd be okay with it. Look around, every other superstar and diva's here. Why not you?" I'm guessing that was the bright side.

"Whatever, I guess."

"Oh, look- Here comes Jeff now," Ashley said, looking over my shoulder. I hesitated to look, but it took all of my human force to do so.

And there he was.

Just about ten feet away from where me, Ashley, and Matt were standing. I tried to keep my face calmer than my emotion. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by hypervenilating in front of everyone.

But he was so intimidating. For the past weeks he'd been ignoring me. Matt and Ashley knew; it was Ashley's fault, mostly. And it had something to do with me. Something I was so called 'missing'. But I don't know what it was. Ashley had said that there was only one thing he wanted from me for his present. By the looks and sound of her voice, it wasn't something that I could _physically _hand to him wrapped.

A message, maybe- Did he want to talk to me?

He was just five feet away, now. I could feel my body temperature rising. I had to move. Get out of this spot.

"Um," I hesitated, Ashley and Matt took their eyes off of the birthday boy to glare at me. "I have to use the bathroom." Ashley rolled her eyes.

"It's the first door on the left. Upstairs," Matt instructed. I quickly thanked him before turning the opposite direction. As I slowly, but pacfully walked away, I could hear Jeff's voice. He was obviously talking to Matt since he was the only one that replied.

"I'll be right back."

As I quickened my pace and was up the stairs, I shoved myself into the enlarged bathroom. The Hardy's sure put their money to good use. I slowly put my back to the door, inhaling and exhaling. I just had to breathe. So what if I made a fool of myself, at least I'll get all signs of discomfort off my chest. I sighed once more before pulling myself off of the door.

Once I was out of the bathroom and into the long colored hallway, I saw Jeff leaning on the balcony of the stairs. It looked like he was concentrating he was looking down, very content. I was walking slower now. I was about to ask what's wrong, but of course I was the one to mind my own business. So I did.

As I began walking, I heard him sigh.

"Where are you going?" He asked. My head snapped up abruptly turning back to look at him.

"Huh?" I asked, sounding like the bimbo I am.

"Where are you going?" He repeated, his voice rough, almost inaudible.

"Um, back downstairs, to the party." It sounded like I wasn't sure of my answer. It sounded more like a question than an answer. But maybe that's because he had me slightly unconcious.

He pushed himself off the stairs' balcony railing and stared at me for just a brief second.

"You know it's rude to run away from the birthday boy," he stated. This brought me back to reality. For a moment.

"Run away?" I rephrased. He smirked for a moment before returning to that same unhappy look that he always had.

"Yeah, that's what you did. You ran away from me." I don't know why, but his deep southern accent sent shivers down my spine.

"I was just using the bathroom, Jeff," I lied. "Honestly." Why did I have to say 'Honestly'? But his face didn't get tense like I thought it would.

"Sure you were." By the tone in his voice it seemed like the conversation was over. This time as I began walking away, I felt his warm, soft textured hands gently pull me back.

I turned to look at him with slightly wide eyes.

"What are you doing?" I asked, the shock in my voice startled me.

"Where are you going?" He asked, for like, the third time. His face loosened a little. But he still wasn't smiling.

"I told you- Back to the party." I tried to loosen my wrist from his grasp, but he just tightened it more.

"It's time to cut the cake. It's time for them to sing 'Happy Birthday' to me, and I'm up here," he stated the obvious.

"Yeah..." I said, waiting for him to continue.

"So why would you go downstairs, when I'm up here? 'Cause if you thought I'd go down there, you're wrong," he said; eyes hard.

Yeah, all signs of 'Minding my own business' were gone now.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice switching from shock to wonder. He slowly departed his hands from my wrist.

"Because, I hate birthdays. Especially mines. It's always the same _every _damn year. Friends and a couple of aquaintances come. Folks I don't even know are comin' to my place. I hate uninvited people disrupting my parties. And that shit head Matt let's them come." He rolled his eyes before running a hand through his perfectly dyed blue and black hair.

Guilt drained it's way into the bottom of my stomach as I repeated his words in my head again. He hated people he didn't really know in his house, and he hated Matt for inviting them without his permission.

He didn't really know me, and I really didn't know him. But over the last few months Ashley and his brother dated, I've became close with the oldest Hardy. But now I really felt unwelcome. Jeff most have noticed my expression, because he was staring intently and innocently at my face.

It looked like he wanted to take what he said back, just for my sake.

"But... I'm cool with you here, though," he said, much to my relief. I felt a sudden light brush of pink shade across my face. "Don't get so used to it." My smile faded, but I maintainted my calm attitude.

"I won't." He looked like he was about to say something until the noise of footsteps emurged from the staircase. I could spot that bright pink and black streaks anywhere. Ashley.

"Maria?" She said, looking around for me.

"I'm over here," I said lowly, hoping she wouldn't hear. But like the spaz she was; she did. She sighed in relief.

"Good God girl, you nearly gave me a heart attack. I was just about to file a missing persons report," she joked. Ha, ha, very unfunny. As I glanced to my side, Jeff was gone. He'd already went the other way and he was headed down the other set of stairs. Ashley followed my gaze and smirked.

"So, you finally talk to Hardy, eh?" She asked, her lips in a full smile now.

"You mean, he finally talked to _me_," I corrected her. She rolled her eyes.

"I bet you didn't tell him your little passion," she teased. Not this again.

I began walking down the opposite staircase Jeff had went down. "I don't want to hear it, Ash."

"Aw, come on. Don't ruin my fun," she whined. I was the one to chuckle.

"Then don't ruin mines." She followed me down the staircase and she whined even more.

"Aw, man! You made us miss the best part." As I looked to where all the people were gathered around one spot. The cake.

"Damn, there are a lot of greedy Superstars, aren't there?" I said, amazed. I wonder how they keep in shape, gawking over nothing but fat with frosting.

"Oh, look, Ri. It's Mr. Boss Man Phil. I better go find Matt," she said dazily before hopping off into the crowd. I waved at Phil and he jogged over towards me.

"Hey babe," he said before giving me one of those sweet kisses of his. As I pulled apart I could see Jeff not less than ten feet away, staring at us with wide eyes. It almost looked like he was... Jealous. Trust me, Jeff Hardy jealous? That's a new one.

"Are you having fun?" He whispered against my ear, his hot breath warming it.

"It's...," I looked up at Jeff again, but he was glaring. "Very unexpecting," I finished smugly. He moved his head from my shoulders and looked into my eyes just like he had earlier.

"Why is that?" He asked.

I sighed. "No important reason. Don't listen to me, I'm just rambling." He hesitated to say something and then left it alone.

"Okay," he said, before walking off again.

As I stood looking as he stalked off with his pals, I felt someone breathing behind me.

"What was that?" They asked.

I turned around and again, I was surprised. Was Jeff actually talking to me two times in one night? Luck was on my side.

"What was what?" I asked.

"You and Phil. Hugging up on each other," he motion to where Phil was, engrossed in some conversation with Shawn.

"Isn't that what couples do?" I asked, not getting where he was going with this.

"Not here, they don't. It's a party, not a club. You and Phil can take your sexual actions somewhere else, 'kay?" He narrowed his eyes before swiftly walking away.

Why is he so... complicated?

I stood there, glaring at him. Yep, jealousy was sure standing out of his features.

Now I was in a really deep hole.

**AN: **Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Doesn't matter; Just review, PLEASE! Thank yous. (:


	4. I Never Wanted Anyone Like This

**AN:** First, I just want to thank _everyone _who reviewed. All of you seem to really love this story, and I really love writing it. I just can't believe the way it turned out. At first I thought I would get no reviews at all; I was wrong. You guys are the ones who inspired me to write the way I do. (: So brownie points for you! Lol. Mmkay, here's your update. Have you noticed that I've been updating daily? (x Please review!

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER FOUR:**

**I Never Wanted Anyone Like This, It's All Brand New**

Two weeks had passed since Jeff's birthday party, and I still haven't gotten over what he'd said to me. At one point everything was okay with us, and then I had to screw it up? It wasn't like it was my intention, Phil came up to me, he kissed me. It's not like he had to watch or anything, right? So obviously he wasn't enjoying it. Doesn't he know that's what people in _happy _relationships do? Or did he need me to physically demonstrate it for him-- Using Phil, of course.

When I returned from my evening at the Raw arena, I came to my hotel room, I found the same particular note from Phil once again.

_Ria, went out with some of the guys._

_Don't wait up._

_Phil._

I sighed, as usual and plopped down on my bed. As I looked around the squeezed up hotel, I noticed a figure standing in the corner, smirking. Gee, wonder who that could be.

I sighed, "Ashley, what are you doing here?" I eyed her as she pushed off the wall and walked towards me.

"I just came to talk. Phil let me in before he left," she explained rather innocently. "Seems like you're not happy about that."

"No, really," I said, my annoyance coursing through me. I rolled my eyes at the note before ripping it up to shreds and tossing it through the air. I didn't even notice Ashley's frantic expression.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, sounding more amused than concerned. I ignored her.

"Oh, what? Your little friends didn't tell you yet. Or do you guys keep secrets from each other, too?" I rolled over in my small bed and closed my eyes, waiting for her to laugh or say something that would piss me off.

But she didn't.

"No, my 'little friends' didn't, so why don't you tell me," she replied, sounding quite annoyed herself. I turned on my side to where she was sitting. She was staring at me with wide and curious eyes.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I'm in a really low mood." She just rolled her eyes and sat closer to me, her face expression went calm, so I knew I could talk easier.

"Does it have to do with Jeff?" She asked. Did she read minds or something? When was she going to realize that everything that was causing me all this depression and excitement had to do with Jeff? She started it all, didn't she?

"Yeah," I said smugly. "I think he's jealous of me and Phil's relationship or something," I blurted. Her lips were in a full-blown smile now.

"You just noticed?" She laughed. "Ria, he's not jealous of your _relationship_; he's jealous of _Phil._ He's jealous of Phil because he has you," she shook her head in humor, while I felt my eyes get wider and wider. She chuckled.

"That's... not possible," I managed to whisper. "He'd never be jealous of Phil because of me." Ashley clucked her tounge like she always did when she disagreed with me. She crossed her arms over her shoulders and just shook her head.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Matt told me that whenever he's hanging with Phil, Phil's always telling him stories about you and him and how great your relationship is while Jeff just sits there and changes color. Don't you think that he's jealous?"

I considered this for a moment. Maybe this is why he was acting the way he was, always glaring, staring, and avoiding me as much as possible. Maybe at his party he felt it was the only way he could get me off guard; when I was breakable. He sure succeeded in that, especially when he insulted me and Phil by telling me to take our actions somewhere else. Who does he think he is?

"You know, I'm really not sure," I said honestly. "He's showing mixed signals and none of them seem good," I stated. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Ri, you're not doing anything wrong. It's just that he's... sophisticated; hard to figure out," she assured me. I knew that she was doing her best to keep me from blaming myself for his actions but somehow I wasn't convinced. I'd seen the way he stared at me, with nothing but hate in his eyes. He never smiled, never showed any kind of attempt at friendliness with me. It was like I was some villian that he couldn't wait to defeat. Like some ememy that he couldn't wait to destroy.

And I never got it. Everyone's telling me that I'm missing something, not being honest. What am I not being honest about?

"I just want to know what I'm 'lying' about," I muttered. Fortunately, Ashley heard me.

"Your feelings, Maria, your feelings. I don't think you're being true to them, but if you really do love Phil..." I cut her off before she could continue. I got up and I was all ready to raise hell.

"Oh, so that's what this is about?! My feelings being untrue, huh?!"

Ashley's face went into shock. I was surprised she hadn't tried to protest.

"Who the hell do you think you are, telling me that my feelings are untrue! That's the total opposite and you know it, Ash-- I mean, what makes you _think _I don't love Phil? Because you have no right to judge my relationship." She followed my lead, by standing up. She just shook her head, her expression looked like she was disgusted with me.

"Everyone has a right to judge your relationship with Phil-- Actually, everyone has! Everyone had the same opinion too, pretty ironic don't you think? Maria, we all know you love Phil, but we also know that you're not _in love _with him. You guys act more like brother and sister than an actual couple. I don't care if you try to deny it, Ria, you know it's true."

If I my blood wasn't boiling right now, I don't know what was. She'd gotten me so pissed off, that I didn't even have anything to say back. Was she right? I wanted to say no, but I couldn't, because she'd come up with more reasons to make me feel even worse than I already do. Now I know that Jeff's the root of the problem. I needed air, I needed to get away-- Especially from here. I wouldn't want to actually fight Ashley to ease my pain, Lord knows what trouble I'd get into with the Law considering how annoying and bitchy hotel's staff could be.

I swiftly turned away from her, snatched my coat off the night stand and headed for the door. Of course not without hearing the last of her words.

"Go, ahead and walk out! That's exactly what you're going to be doing to Phil in just a matter of months, sweetie!"

And I slammed the door.

I couldn't really help the tears that were forming in my eyes, and the wind outside wasn't making it any better. I dug through my clutch for my phone, once I took it out there was only one number I could dial that I knew I could trust.

Phil's.

"Ph- Phil?" I was so nervous, so angry, so... confused that I was shaking.

"What's wrong, Ria?"

I needed to get away. "Where are you?"

"Jeff's house."

Wasn't this just a _great _night? How the hell was I getting all of this bad luck?

"Do- Do you mind if I come over?" I asked, fully aware that he wouldn't mind one inch. Especially since I knew he knew I sounded upset. I could just imagine the face Jeff was making right now. Was he worried? Or could he care less? With Jeff; you'd never know.

"Of course not. Make it here safely though." Now what really surprised me was what I heard in the background. It sounded like Jeff. He was saying something like 'I'll pick her up," and that-- That sent shivers down my spine and my nerves tingled.

"Uh, Ria?"

"Yeah?" I asked, even though I knew what was coming next.

"Jeff'll pick you up, 'kay? He won't take long, it's just four blocks down." Before I could even blurt a noise, he'd already hung up. Now, I'd have to spend five minutes or so in a car, trapped-- With Jeff. Like I said: Could this night get any worse?

After about 10 minutes of waiting and shivering both from the cold- and from my nerves, I heard a car's engine speed around the corner. There's only one crazy man who can drive that fast, without getting hurt.

And he was the root of drama in my life.

He didn't even honk the horn, he just rolled down the window and yelled 'Get in'.

Why was I feeling this night would get worse and worse?

"Thanks," I whispered as I was sucked into the warmth of the vehicle. His face was calm for a moment, until he heard my voice. Why was he so intimidating? What was wrong with me?

"Whatever," he murmured, making me feel small.

The rest of the ride went my quickly and quietly. He didn't even look at me when we were out of the car, he just opened the door and followed behind me. I really figured that since I'd been crying, my make up was smeared. I needed to look like I hadn't just got in a fight with my best friend, so I changed opposite directions with Jeff but I still heard that wretched breathing of his.

"Trying to ease Phil's worries, huh?"

As I turned around I noticed he was staring at me again with those, cautious narrowed eyes.

All I managed to do was nod. He studied me very carefully before opening his mouth to speak.

"Can I ask you somethin'?" He sounded choked up, hesitant. Like he wasn't sure what my reaction was going to be, and he was sure he wouldn't like it. I was the next one to hesitate. I wasn't sure what his question was going to be. Was it going to be why was I using the bathroom? Maybe he was actually concerned that I was crying? Highly impossible. With Jeff, I had my doubts, he wasn't the type of person you could depend on to be so caring unless he was real close to you. And as far as I'm concerned, me and him are nothing more than what he phrased before 'Aquaintances.'

"Er... Sure," I said, my voice was so inaudible, I swore he'd scold me to speak up.

But he didn't-- Thank God.

"Um," he hesitated once more. Was this Jeff Hardy? I've never heard him-- Seen him hesitate in my life. "Why did you come here?"

The question almost stung me. Did that mean he didn't want me here? I had to answer with as much dignity as I can. I couldn't be vulnerable around Jeff. Not again.

"Well, I was having sort of a bad day. And I decided that I needed Phil."

Now he looked stung by my words. I knew this because I heard him gulp.

"You really do love Phil, eh?" His soothing southern accent sent chills down my spine, once again. Why was everyone asking me this question. Of course I love Phil. But I did take Ashley's words in consideration. Was I _in love _with him? That... that wasn't quite known.

"Um, of course I do." My voice was uncertain, like I wasn't sure of my answer. As I began to head up the stairs he followed but he stopped as I continued. But I felt the urge to look back as he asked me a question that caught me and my emotions off guard. Sure it was one word, but that word had more answers behind it that I couldn't even imagine. When was I finally going to say the things he wanted me to say? When?

"Why?"

I was going to answer but I heard the voice of Phil coming closer. Jeff obviously didn't care, but by the look and urgency on my face, he knew he wasn't going to get an answer... Now. He just rolled his eyes and went back down the stairs. When he passed Phil, he seemed to be glaring, just as he always did.

"Maria, what's wrong?" His voice was caring, but it was obvious he was just trying to get my unhappiness over with.

"Nothing. Not anymore. You know I lost my favorite earring," I lied. Do you really blame me, though? Try telling your boyfriend that you were having a fight about another guy that you could be having so called feelings for, and worse-- It was his best friend. It's not so easy.

He sighed in relief. "Wow, Ria, you must've loved that earring," he chuckled. "But I'm glad it was nothing big." Not that you'd ever know.

"Yeah, me too. You know what, I think I'm good enough to go home now, Phil. But thanks anyways." He was smiling as I went down the stairs. I was so relieved when he actually stayed up there. But now Jeff would have his opportunity to talk to me.

And he did.

"Thanks, Jeff. For picking me up and stuff," I said, politely trying to make my way past him. "Excuse me."

He pulled me by my wrist again.

"You still didn't answer my question." I sighed and he let my wrist go. As soon as he did, I barged out of the house like there was no tomorrow. Thank God I could finally breathe-- Again.


	5. Give Fate A Fighting Chance

**AN: **I just wanted to say thanks to you guys once again for the reviews you left me. I'm glad this story is keeping you interested, and that's exactly what I wanted, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. =D.

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER FIVE:**

**Give Fate A Fighting Chance**

"Ria?" I heard a familiar voice say as they shook me. "Ria, baby wake up." They shook me again. I groaned, turning over, snatching the pillow over my head. Not long before it was snatched right back off. At this point all I had left to do was catch a glimpse of who this was, because they were sure going to get an earfull.

As I regretfully opened my eyes, I was brought to relief when I saw who it was.

"Phil, shouldn't you know by now that I'm not a morning person?" I asked as I pulled the covers off of me and slipped out of bed. I heard him chuckle.

"Yeah, that's why I woke you up," he joked. I just rolled my eyes. Like all days this past month, I wasn't having such a great one. I was confused, nervous, and all the more sick and tired of all this drama. But what really had me confused was his question. Why would he care why I love Phil or not? It wasn't his business, it was mine and Phil's. Why was everyone so curious as to our relationship? There's nothing more I hate than people who piss me off.

"What's wrong?" Phil asked, breaking my trance. As I glanced at him he was looking at me with that usual concern on his face. He must have noticed my silence and most of all my shattered expression. Might as well keep him calm.

"Nothing, nothing," I said quickly. "Just tired. But I have to see Vince in an a few hours... So I might as well suck it up, right?" I put on a fake smile. He followed my lead, but I'm pretty sure his smile was nothing more to hide the fact that he was relieved.

"Well, sorry Ria, but we all have to do it." I kept my smile as I got up and headed toward the bathroom. At least I had a few hours to collect myself, right? The thing that was making me more nervous was that at Vince's meeting, I'd have to see Ashley, Matt, and worst of all: Jeff. I'm convinced that Ashley's still angry with me, and I know that Jeff's going to still be interested in my answer for the question he asked no less than twenty-four hours ago.

"Yeah," I sighed. "We all have to do a lot of things."

* * *

Nervousness washed over me as I walked into the Raw arena. There, in front of my eyes I could spot every Superstar, and that included Jeff Hardy. However I was relieved yet disappointed that he didn't notice my arrival. That was until I saw little miss big mouth obviously notify him, since his head snapped up in an unreadble expression washed over him. His look was a mixture of apprehension and sorrow. Gee, I could only wonder why.

The only thing that brought me out of my stare was a soft tap on the back of my shoulders. When I turned around, I noticed it was Vince. Confusion overcame me as his next words flowed through me.

"Can I see you in my office?" When I looked over to the room full of Superstars and Divas, they were being supervised by Shane. Wasn't Vince supposed to be running the meeting. Wasn't I a part of the meeting?

"Aren't you running this meeting?" I asked as politely as I could. His face shifted from forced excitement to annoyance.

"Well, I was but I needed to speak to you privately. In my office," he urged as he pointed to the hallway which held his office. "Shane can take care of them for now." By now he was practically dragging me to his office, I managed to get another glimpse look at Jeff who somewhat did not have a pleased look on his face. Now all in all I knew he was curious.

Once I was in the Boss's office I knew he was ready to get down to the business.

"I need to ask you something Ms. Kanellis, because... Because it's really been on my mind for sometime now," he started "And I need your most honest opinion, okay?" Whatever he was getting at, it was scaring the shit out of me, because Vince McMahon was surely not the type of man who cared about people's opinions. Especially his Superstars and Divas. And the next words that were soon to come out of my mouth, I had a strong feeling that I would want to take them back as soon as I spoke them.

But he was my boss.

"Um, sure..."I trailed off and he sighed.

"How do you think Phil would feel if I put you in a storyline with someone? Namely- Another Superstar."

I hesitated before answering. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be happy. But he hardly watches Raw, you know since he's on ECW and he sleeps early. But that depends... Who's the Superstar?" I was full of curiousity. Practically every Superstar on Raw was married, Hunter, Shawn, Chris Jericho... Who could he possibly want me to be in a romatic storyline with?

"Well, this is just business and he may not like it but I'm sure you will," he concluded. "Especially once you find out who it is." He clapped his hands together and rubbed them in excitement. He let out a deep exhale as he spoke his next words.

"Before I tell you who it is, you have to do something first."I felt a little uneasy as I saw him dig through his desk and slip out a white slip. We all know what that was. It meant either your contract was up or you'd have to sign something.

"Okay, , you'll need to sign this slip first before I tell you who it is." He placed the slip on the desk where I was sitting and took a pen out of his handkerchief front pocket and placed it next to it.

"Not to be rude, sir, but that's utterly unfair," I protested. "I can't sign something without knowing who it is." A sharp smile appeared on his face it looked like he'd just thought of some way to fondle with my protesting.

"Oh, well. I guess you'll never know," he trailed off attempting to put everything away. Was he seriously playing games with me? Did he actually want me to sign to figure out who the guy was? What if it was someone I hated? But I shrugged it off, I guess the person couldn't be that bad. If this was the only way I'd be getting my paycheck, so be it. I hesitantly picked up the pen and pulled the slip closer so I could sign. Maria Kanellis.

I watched him as he ruefully smirked upon my signature on the vibrant peice of paper.

"Thank you, Ms. Kanellis. Well, I guess I owe you by informing you who you'll be with for the next couple of months, right?"

"Right," I said getting impatient. "You do."

But the name that blurred out of his mouth caught me and my heart off guard.

"It's going to be the one and only charismatic Enigma, Jeff Hardy," he said, excitement abrupting in his voice. He didn't even seem to notice my panicked expression, I wasn't even aware that I couldn't swallow the lump in my throat. Not only did I not expect that but now there was no way of getting out of it. I was going to be stuck with Jeff, who I was desperately trying to avoid for _months._

And there was no avoiding him now.

How was I going to tell Phil? It was his best friend we're talking about here. I couldn't keep it a secret, especially when it's something as big as this. If I kept it a secret, no matter how scripted it is... He'd take it as _cheating._

As I had enough strength to look up, Vince still had a proud smile on his face.

"This is going to go great with the fans, and even better, this company will be making twice the money it's making now," he chuckled. "I'm depending on you and Jeff."

Sudden curiousity lit up my eyes. "Does Jeff know about this?" I asked, wondering if that's the possibility why Jeff was acting so strange.

"Yes, he's known for weeks. But he knew you'd probably react this way, so for his sake I waited later on to tell you." That son of a bitch. Now I knew why everyone was being so secretive around me. They all knew about Vince's little plan to put me in a storyline with Jeff, and Jeff knew as well. If I wasn't pissed before, than I'm certainly pissed now.

As soon as I was about to lash my angry words at him, I controlled myself before it went too far.

"Well, Ms. Kanellis if I were you I'd start practicing now. You guys begin in a few weeks. You're excused.

And with that, I stirred out of the room ready to find a certain someone to take out my disapproval on.

Little miss big mouth was in for an earfull.

* * *

I huffed as I got out of my rental car and stumbled into the hotel of Ashley Massaro. Once I found out her room number from the receptionist, I practically knocked the door down, and once she answered the door, she had a shocked expression on her face.

"Damn it, Maria! What's your problem?" I didn't even answer her question, I just barged into her room and waited for her to turn around. I don't know what was coming over me but I really wanted to hit her.

"Some best friend you are," I muttered. "I guess you enjoy seeing me in pain, don't you?" I rambled on before she could say anything.

"And to think I was going to apologize to you for being such an overreacting bitch..." I trailed off.

"Oh, so now we're going to fight again, is that what you want, Maria?" I knew she was getting pissed now, since she rarely called me by my full name. It was always 'Ria,' or 'Ri'. But right now I didn't care about her unhappiness with me. Because she'd been keeping things from me, and that's what mattered more.

"Ashley, don't start with me. You know damn well this is all your fault. How could you not tell me that Vince was planning to put me and Jeff in a storyline?" By the expression on her face I knew she was guilty.

"Look... I was going to get to that," she started. "But I wasn't sure that Jeff wanted me to. Okay, it was Vince's plans and even if he didn't notify Jeff, he'd still find someway to put you in that storyline. You can't go blaming me."

I glared at her in disbelief. "Well I guess it doesn't matter anymore, does it? It's official now, and there's no way out of it. How am I supposed to tell Phil? It's his best friend, he'll be outraged. I don't want our relationship to end." I found it pretty embarrassing that I was whining like this.

She scoffed. "Maria, honestly, when did it even _begin?_" Now that was putting me on the verge of slapping her across that smart ass mouth of hers.

"Ashley, don't go there," I warned, but the look on her face proved that she was not going to give up any time soon. "Seriously."

She pinned her hands to her hips. "Maria, I'm sorry sweetie but... I'm not going to go on like this. I'm sick of hiding my personal feelings about you and Phil's relationship, okay?" I narrowed my eyes.

"What do you have to say that's so important for me to know, Ashley?"

"I just want you to be in a relationship that you enjoy. And sure you may _think _you're enjoying your relationship with Phil, but sweetie we all _know _you're not. You can deny it all you want. You can yell and scold me about it, but I know you're going to cave one day. And... Whether you like it or not, this storyline's going to pursue it even more. Stay stuck on Phil all you want, but stop thinking about Jeff." The words that slipped out of my mouth were innocently uncontrollable.

"I can't," I admitted. "I just can't."

A smile spread across her lips. "That's what I thought."

I rolled my eyes. "Ashley, I'm still not pleased with you okay? I still have to tell Phil and I'm pretty sure he won't be happy with this either."

She shrugged her shoulders, "He'll get over it. Besides, I thought he hardly watched Raw?"

I sighed. "He doesn't, unless I tell him I'll be on," I murmured.

"Then just don't tell him," she said weightlessly. "It'll ease the pain."

I glared. "I have to tell him regardless, he's going to find out one way or the other," I jinxed, scrambling for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow I guess." She sighed and said her goodbye. I sucked in my worries and figured I'd better get this over with.

* * *

As I reached my hotel and got into my room I noticed a very sad look on Phil's face.

That could mean one thing.

"Maria, please sit," he instructed without explaination. "We have to talk." I threw my keys on the night stand and sat next to him on the small bed. I tried to remain calm, even though his expression lacked it.

After I took off my coat I hesitantly sat down beside him, waiting for his arguement.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked at me with dangerous eyes, like he could see right through me and that I was nothing but pure hate. "You know what's wrong," he paused, he was waiting for me to interupt but I figured I'd let him have his fair share of words. "How could you sign to be in a storyline, with of all people, Jeff?"

I sighed. "Look, I know that was wrong, but I was going to tell you. I didn't know you'd take it to heart like this." My innocent voice must have sent his thoughts in different directions. At first his expression went soft, but he must have thought of some way around it. He wasn't going to let me win.

"Of course I would take it to heart! I'm your boyfriend, okay? Have you had any idea how this would hurt me? Shatter me to pieces?" I never knew it would end up like this. Sure he's my boyfriend, but I thought he'd understand. He was caring and heartwarming, he always accepted my decisions. Why not this one?

"Look I'm sorry but I wasn't..." I trailed off realizing how ridiculous I sounded. He obviously wasn't done.

"Maria, what were you thinking?"

If this was my only defense, so be it. "Look, Vince wanted to see me in his office and he asked me how I think you would feel if he put me in a storyline with _someone_. I told him that you'd be quite pissed and so on. Then he told me it was 'just business' and that I'd be pretty happy once I found out who it was that I was going to be in it with. He wouldn't tell me who it was just yet, and he made me sign or else I couldn't find out who it was." Again, he looked at me with dangerous eyes.

"This has got to be a fucking joke, right?!" I winced at his suddenly raised voice. And considering this was Phil, he hardly cursed. So much for keeping the peace, he was breaking the peace.

"What?"

"You signed the contract because you were _curious_ to find out who the mystery man was?!" He lashed, making me feel small.

"Well, not really. It was a ride or die kind of thing--"

"Bullshit, Maria! You're impossible! All that matters is that you signed the contract meaning that you were going to do it regardless. And now, you're doing it with my best friend!" He punched the mattress behind him.

"I'm sorry," I said inaudibly. I was so shaken up, my voice was cracking. He hated me, I'm sure he hated me.

He sighed, seeing my face in misery wasn't really his cup of tea. "As long as it's scripted, I'm _'whatever'_ with it." I kept looking down, too afraid to glance up at his hurt face, I knew he would never be okay with the fact that I'd have to be with his best friend 24/7, but... It was all in the contract.

"Yeah, let's just _hope _everything's scripted," I murmured to myself. As I snuck a peek, I realized that Phil hadn't heard me. Sigh.

* * *

_Breathe, Ria, breate. You can do this._ I pleaded with myself not to let my guard down today. I had to look at business like and serious as possible. Right now, I was meeting with Vince and of course Jeff Hardy to talk about the storyline and what requires it.

As I heard Vince's gruffy voice yell, "Come in!" I sighed and had no choice but to open the office door. But fate must have struck me once I saw that certain Rainbow-Haired-Warrior sitting next to an empty chair that I'm pretty positive I'd have to fill.

"Nice of you to join us, Ms. Kanellis." I sat down swiftly, trying to ignore the feelings that were washing over me. From the coner of my eye I could see Jeff's sneaking glances at me. Was he just as nervous as I was?

"Well, I hope you two are feeling very pleased that I've selected you two for a storyline." He took a moment to scan our faces, before continuing.

"Well, you guys start in two weeks, and hopefully then you'll have practiced and gotten used to each other," he paused, taking out two packets and handing them to both of us. "But there are rules." Oh, God.

Me and Jeff stayed silent while Vince read over the rules.

"One, you have to make sure to spend as much time together as possible. Meaning, you guys should be together 24.7. You stay at the same hotel, stay in the same room, I even want you to share the same bed. I don't care, you _have _to stay together." Was he actually for real? He wanted us to be intertwined with each other? Same room, same _bed_?

"And, you'll need to make it as real as possible, of course not real but you know what I mean. You guys need to develop. You guys need to share a fluffy relationship, okay? I can't have the WWE Universe thinking you guys are horrible actors. Make it seem as real as you can."

I had dozens of questions, but I'd just embarrass myself.

But Jeff surely had one question that had been on his mind for a while.

"Why us?" He asked, keeping his eyes intently on Vince.

Vince cleared his throat, "Well, I believe that since you both have fans that love you dearly what more would they want than their favorite Superstar and their favortie Diva, Jeff Hardy and Maria Kanellis in a storyline? They'd love that. And I feel that there's a certain spark between you two, something... different from all the other couples in WWE. Who knows, maybe you'll two eventually find out what I mean."

And that's when I felt Jeff's eyes flicker to me. As I glanced at him he had the most delicate features and the fact that he was staring at me intently made them all the more unique. Somehow I couldn't keep my eyes off of him and I knew that he couldn't take his eyes of me.

And that was the first time I saw Jeff Hardy smile.

**AN: **Liked it? Loved it? Hated it? Review. I made this chapter extra long because I took a while to update. Now in the next two chapters... It's where Jeff and Maria's "Love" begin. =D. Once again, review!


	6. Trying Hard to Control My Heart

**AN: **I wanna say thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Wow, I really am updating daily, now you've got no choice but to mark me as your favorite author =D.

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER SIX:**

**Trying Hard to Control My Heart**

"Tonight's the big night," Ashley teased as she snuck up behind me once again. As I turned towards her I couldn't get the staggered, nervous, panicked expression off my face.

"Don't remind me," I muttered.

I couldn't believe that tonight I'd actually be debuting my 'Relationship' with Jeff. Two weeks ago, Vince had told us that our storyline would begin and already it was time to get to business.

But I couldn't do it.

But it seemed like everyone- excluding Phil, thought it was best. It was going to be pure hell and I knew that deep inside my heart it was true. What about my fans? I doubt that anyone them don't know that I'm dating Phil, and once they see what me and Jeff have in store, they'll think I dumped Phil for him. I couldn't have Phil be humilliated like that. I couldn't let him be depressed because he actually thought I was considering about dating Hardy.

When I technically wasn't.

I tried to conceal myself before walking into the arena with Ashley. What was worse was that since I got here early, I had nothing to do and had no choice but to practice the script for me and Jeff's storyline.

As me and Ashley reached the front door of Jeff's locker room I hesitated to knock. That same stupid smirk appeared on her face.

"Go ahead," she mocked. "It's not gonna open by itself." I turned around to glare at her before she slowly began walking away. That was until I grabbed her arm in fainted horror.

"Where are you going?!" I managed to keep my voice low enough so Jeff couldn't hear, but I had enough enthusiasm in it to prove to her how serious I was. She looked at me with wide eyes before smiling.

"I have to go meet with Matt. We need to practice one more time before our match tonight," she explained. "Don't worry, you and Jeffro will be doing tag team matches _together _in no time." I rolled my eyes before turning my attention back on the door that was in front of me.

"I'm nervous enough, Ash. I don't need you making it any worse," I pleaded. She put her hands up in mocked defeat.

"Well I won't want to get in your way, so let me be on mines," she said as she backed up, expecting me to stop her or grab her once again. When I didn't she turned around fully and stalked off.

_Breathe,_ I reminded myself. It was just Jeff. There was no... connection between the two of us, so why am I feeling all weird about it?

Once again, fate was on my side.

As soon as I sucked in whatever nerves I had, Jeff jammed open the door before I could even press my knuckles to it. His expression was eager, anxious almost... frustrated. Figuring it was best to say nothing, I stepped in.

"You're late," he stated as he closed the door behind me. Again, thank you Captin Obvious.

"I didn't know there was a specific time I was supposed to be here. The show starts at eight, we've got plenty of time," I reassured the look on his face it seemed as if he was ignoring me.

"If you showed up earlier, we could of been done by now," he said his eyes narrowing.

"Look, Jeff. I already know all my lines if that's what you're worried about. But-" He cut me off before I could finish.

"_I'm _not worried about _anything,_" he spat, eyes still narrowed.

At this point I was at a loss for words. "So what's your problem, then?" I was pretty surprised with myself at how rough and ticked my voice sounded. It was as if he was trying to annoy me just to prove whatever point he was getting at.

"You still didn't answer my question." Those were the only words that came out of his mouth, everything else was either groans or sighs. His words caught me off guard. Had he really been thinking about my answer, _still_? Sure, I hadn't forgot about his question, but I was sure that he'd give it up by now. But I should've realized:

Jeff Hardy never gives up.

So in other words, he'd get me to answer. Maybe he'd push me to a point where I had no choice but to. He was so intimidating and crazy that you weren't really sure how to act around him.

He could crack any second now.

I could see him with his hands folded perfectly across his chest. His foot was tapping repeatedly and his penetrating stare was become more and more impatient by the minute. I had to answer sometime, before he had a heartattack.

"What question?" I asked, dumbfounded. His narrowed as soon began to roll.

"You know the question. _Why do you love Phil_? Do you recall that?" His saracasim was eating at me.

"Oh, that," I laughed. "Yeah, I remember." My tone was playful, but being the serious guy he was, his wasn't.

"Maria," he sighed. "Are you gonna answer the damn question or not?" I could tell he was getting annoyed, but it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault that he was asking me the question, he was the one putting his own self in distress. He had no right to ask about my personal feelings and I actually found that quite rude at this moment.

"Jeff, that's a really personal question." He face tensed and his lips pursed.

"I don't care," he stated honestly. "What- you don't trust me or somethin'?" Now I was the one to roll my eyes.

"I don't know. I barely know you, Jeff," I replied honestly. Could I really trust him? I mean, Jeff was never known for being untrusted. But there was still something in me that said it wasn't the time; wasn't the place.

"Do you want to know me?" He asked, his eyes more calm now, full of curiousity. That was another question that was a little too personal for me. Was he really this curious as to my reactions, my answers? Were they this important?

"What's with all the questions, Jeff?"

He cleared his throat, "Vince said we'd need to learn more about each other. We need to know stuff." I didn't believe his excuse. I knew he just wanted to know for his own guilty pleasure.

I couldn't come up with a response so I just shrugged it off and sat down. From the corner of my eye I could see him studying me carefully while I took out the script that we'd need to practice.

I slowly looked up to see an amusing smile on his face.

"Aren't you going to practice, too?" I asked, trying to ignore his perfect smile. He shook his head.

"I don't need to. I don't need a script to tell me what to do or how to do it. I can play this _role _like I play anyother one," he concluded. I raised an eyebrow. So he was Mister Big Shot, huh?

"And how do you play everyother role?"

His smile faded. "With dedication," his tone was serious, dark. "I have to give it all I've got." It was just a storyline. There wasn't anything that big about it except for the fact that he was fueding with Morrison for the title. But I doubt he was going serious about that.

Was he actually enjoying this?

"But...," I hesitated. "It's just a storyline." His face went hard at that point.

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way. But to me, it means more than you could imagine," he emphasized. My whole body went numb at that point. His words even if they were cruely said, they were deeply... Passionate?

Whatever they were didn't matter at that point. I was slipping out of my seat and I was headed for the floor.

It's a good thing Jeff was there, though, otherwise, I'd have some serious head trauma.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he caught me. Once I turned my eyes away from the floor, they quickly met his. He must have been amused by my almost nearfall, since his smirk slowly faded. It was as if this was a staring contest and he beat me, but he still kept staring.

I wasn't fully aware that he'd been holding me around my waist until I was trying to back up. He quickly grasped my waist, holding me tighter than before. Then, he stared into my eyes one more time before opening his mouth... To speak.

"What color are your eyes?"

Okay it was official. He was now the master of out of nowhere questions.

"Um, they're blue but sometimes they look green. Depends on the lighting," I said, sounding fragile enough for him to let go.

"Sorry," he said as I stumbled backwards. "That shouldn't have happened."

Oh how I wanted to scream how wrong he was. "It's okay. Everyone makes mistakes." He sighed and looked away, muttering something to himself.

"Yeah, and I've made too many," he said to himself. I looked at him with questioning eyes. He glared. "Don't ask." I looked astonished. There was no way that he was going to refuse to tell me something personal, when he had the ordasity to ask me mines.

"And why not? You ask me person-" He cut me off once again.

"Yeah, but I asked you a question I really wanted to know. I needed to know. And you still haven't answered it," he threw his hands up. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh? Well, I guess you'll never know, then," I teased. His eyes narrowed.

"You're really pissin' me off, Kanellis." I put my hands on my hips, looking at him in humor.

"So, what- _you're _the only one that gets to get angry?" He ignored me. "Are you going to answer the question, Jeff?"

"Are you gonna answer mine?!" He quickly faced me, causing me to stumble backwards.

"What's wrong with you?" I answered in shock.

"My temper's not really that pleasing when I'm angry, Maria. So how 'bout you just get the hell out of here before I do something really shitty?" He was doing it again. He was intimidating me. Making me feel smaller than I already was.

I slid past him and tried to ignore the rapid beatings of my heart. Before I left the locker room I couldn't help but say the two words that were really aching to get out.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

I had to admit, Jeff wasn't lying when he said he'd take it seriously. I thought he did a way better job at it than me. On screen he wasn't all cheery and preppy like me. In between lines he still secretly glared at me. He still had that serious face that wouldn't leave my conscience and he still managed to maintain the mood of the whole scene. And what was worse? He didn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

But what was really worse?

I'd have to share the same hotel room with him after the show.

"Hey, Ria," Ashley greeted me as I walked towards her. "That was great. He really seemed into it." Yeah, like I didn't know that.

"I doubt it," I sighed. "Did you see the look on his face?" I rolled my eyes.

"What look?" She asked, dumbfounded. "Camera plays tricks on people, you know." How I wanted to take the headfull of hair and pull it out. She needed some sense knocked into her.

"Just forget it. It's bad enough where I have to go after the show. You know anyone that's going to stay at the hotel around the corner?" I asked hoping that she was one of them.

"Hmm," she thought for a moment. "I won't be there, but I heard a few superstars would be there. No one fancy, though." I mentally hung my head in disappointment. What was there to do now? What was I going to do- make small talk with Jeff? Would I even talk to him?

"I can't believe I dragged myself in this storyline. It's pathetic." Her face was no hanging.

"It's not pathetic, Ria. I promise you, you'll be happy soon. Just... keep up whatever you're doing. Making Jeff the way he is only makes him all the more interested in you," she clarified.

Huh? "What?" I asked.

She sighed, "Just... follow your heart. Follow your emotions. It's Jeff we're talking about, here! He's a cool dude, you can be laid back around him. You don't even have to speak to him, you could just ignore him."

"Ashley, let me be the first to tell you that Jeff Hardy can't be ignored," I glared, as she stiffened.

"That's exactly the point," she chuckled. "He's irresistable, and frankly it's the same way with you- to him." I still didn't know where she was getting at, but something was telling me that my heart would be beating a lot tonight.

"What time is it?" I asked, for the sake of my emotions. She quickly glanced at her watch and informed me.

"It's... 11:01." Damn it. I only had four minutes until I had to leave. What could I possibly do to distract me for four minutes?

Nothing. "Ooh, well I have to go find Vince," she sighed. "He had another match planned for me, so I'll talk to you tomorrow?" She had hope and wonder in her voice. Like she wanted to know everything that was going to happen with me and Jeff.

"I'll make sure to tell you all the details, Ash."

And with that and a quick laugh, she was headed down the hall.

And now, I had to step in the path of ... mixed emotions.

* * *

I inhaled deeply before I opened the front door of me and Jeff's hotel room. I cringed just thinking about sharing a room with anyone besides Phil. I slowly swiped the card, savoring the moment of being... alone.

Once it was fully swiped, I opened the door and stepped in.

And there he was. He was studying intently on what he was doing - drawing perhaps? That's what I've heard he did. It must have been a really good drawing too since he didn't even look at me, to see if it was me. He just studied on his notebook and his drawing.

I took off my coat and set it on the bed, carefully, so I didn't disturb him. I thought it was best that I didn't sit next to him - nor did I really feel like it. I spotted a mini sofa on the other side of the room and walked over to it.

I sighed as I plopped down, keeping my eyes on the ground.

I took one peek up and he was staring at me, surprisingly he was smiling.

"Do I have rabies or somethin'?" He sounded amused, while I still kept a straight face.

"No..."

He chuckled. "So why are you all the way over there?" I looked at where I was sitting and realized that it was a little ridiculous.

"I didn't want to distract you," I said honestly, for my sake he was still smiling.

"Distract me? From...?" He trailed off, obviously not getting it.

"From your art work?" Now I was just as confused as him.

"Art work," he laughed - more like choked. "It's just a poem." Must have been a damn good one too.

To ease the tention, I laughed too. Finally, I was at a good pace with him - almost. But that's when his face turned serious.

"Can we talk?" He asked, his face serious, nonplayful.

And that's where it all began...

**AN: **Oooh, is that a cliffhanger? It was supposed to be, lol. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Now I feel I have to thank you guys for reviewing. So thanks for reviewing the last chapter! And please review this one =D.

BTW; Lets all say **CONGRATS** to Jeff Hardy for finally winning the WWE Championship!!


	7. Eye to Eye We Need No Words At All

**AN: **Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter, guys. Well, I'm sure that this chapter could fill your needs? Hopefully you'll be happy and surprised at the ending - so please review! =D.

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER SEVEN:**

**Eye to Eye We Need No Words At All**

I almost froze in my seat. Not only was he talking to me, but he was actually gesturing me to sit by him - with him, on the same bed? But eventually the thoughts of Vince, explaining to us to make this thing as real as possible, flashed through my mind. As I looked up again, I noticed he was still looking at me, with that same serious look on his face.

"You comin', or not?" The sound of his voice was enough to lift me up and walk towards him. I kept my distance, but didn't show it. I tried to look as comfortable as I could, avoiding all eye contact with him. Who knows what'll happen to my heart once I look into those things.

"You... wanted to talk to me?" I reminded him, trying to get all of this over with.

"Oh, yeah," he coughed, hesitant. He quickly closed his notebook and focused his attention on me. "I wanted to apologize." Now I was the one who focused on him. He was looking as if he'd felt regret for whatever he was apologizing for.

"For what?" He slid more closely on the bed, which made my instincts react. I carefully slid futher away from him, praying the he didn't notice.

"For invading your privacy like that, it... it wasn't right," he explained. Suddenly I wasn't feeling so uncomfortable anymore. He was actually apologizing for asking me personal questions about me and Phil's relationship. "And I'm sorry." I sighed and felt the urge to pat him on the back.

"It's alright, Jeff. Sometimes, people are just curious. I understand where you're coming from," I stated. He looked at me with pure curiosity.

"Really?" He said, almost as if he had doubts.

"Yeah." His eyes widened with disappointment.

"Oh, really - you expect me to believe that? You know how much times people have said they _understand_?" His eyes rolled in hatered. Looks like somebody was ready for a fight.

"I don't expect you to believe anything I say, Jeff. I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this," I said, feeling disappointed myself. I could see that he was getting rigid, hyper. He needed to, "Calm down."

Now, he was up, out of the bed, hypothetically out of his mind.

"Calm down," he chuckled to himself. "You're tellin' me to calm down?! No, that's all people ever want me to do. I been calm now for a while, I can be crazy whenever I want!" I flinched as he said his last words.

"Jeff, what are you talking about -" He spat again:

"I had problems in the past, Maria. If you didn't recall that. I went through nothin' but pure _hell_. And for you to just be another know-it-all that claims to 'understand' me, pisses me off!" I flinched, again. What was I missing? All I was doing was trying to have a little sympathy for him. Maybe I didn't understand him all that much, but that didn't mean it was my fault. Did he want me to understand him?

"Alright, I don't understand you! All you want to do is fight! Is there ever a day that you're happy? Are you _ever _in a good mood? Or is drugs the only thing that can make you smile?!" As soon as I said my words, I prayed I could take them back. I swallowed hard, as his expression saddened.

It looked like he was holding something back. Like he was struck my lightning. I covered my eyes to hide my shallow face. I've never - _ever _in my whole life, thought I'd say something so low. And to of all people, Jeff Hardy.

"Jeff," I looked up at him. "I'm so sorry. I should have never said that." It looked like my apology wasn't working. Since he declined it.

"No," he started. "You're right."

I did a double take. "I'm right?"

"Yeah," he sighed as he sat back down, keeping his distance. "You are." I had a feeling I was in for a long speech. A much more calmer one, I hope.

"I _used _to have a lot of happy days. Mainly 'cause of the drugs. Now, since I'm tryin' my best to stay off them... I guess a lot of that 'happiness' is gone." He sighed.

"So, you did drugs to be happy? Weren't you already happy with your career?" I had to ask.

"I guess you could say that. I had so much problems with my personal life, that I didn't focus on my career. After my mom's death, everything on my focus just blanked out. Nothin' mattered more to me than the drugs," he stated truthfully.

At this moment I felt completely guilty. It was completely clear that I'd put him in this depressed mood. It was obvious that he was trying his best not to look at me again. If I hadn't let my frustration get the better of me, I wouldn't be feeling regret right now.

He noticed my silence. "What's the matter with you?" I slowly looked up at him. His expression hadn't changed, but his tone didn't sound as low.

"Nothing," I sighed. "I'm just... tired I guess."

"Tired," he mumbled to himself, as if he thought I was lying. "Well, I'll let you sleep then." Without another look at me, he got off the bed and headed towards the door. Not before turning back.

"Don't wait up for me, I'm staying at Matt's hotel."

I couldn't strain myself from asking, "Why?"

"'Cause, I want to."

"But Vince...," I trailed off, leaving him perfect timing to cut me off.

"Vince won't find out. Unless - you're not a snitch, are you?" Of course I wasn't. But I wasn't going to let him break the rules; not while I was being dedicated.

"Well, actually, I am. I'll tell on anyone to keep my job safe. Besides, I thought you were going to 'work hard,' you know, be 'dedicated,' like you stated before?" He scoffed before rolling his eyes.

"Maria, shut up."

And with that, he was out the door.

With Vince having some big announcement for us tomorrow, I knew that it was going to be hell.

--

"Ria! Ria, wait up!" I didn't have to turn around to know who that was. She was the last person I wanted to see, after what happened last night, I wasn't really sure what 'details' I could give her about what happened with me and Jeff.

It was just the usual.

"Hey, Ash," I said smugly, failing to keep my personal emotions to myself. She didn't seem to notice.

"So... what happened?" She asked, getting straight to the point. Of course, I was going to play the clueless role.

"What do you mean 'what happened'?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"With you and Jeff," she rolled her eyes playfully. "I want to know everything."

"Everything?" I sucked the air between my teeth. "Nothing really happened. All he did was write in his book, and all I managed to do was sleep. I was tired, you know." She narrowed her eyes.

"Ria, are you that much of a coward? You didn't even _speak _to him?" I shook my head. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"So, how's Phil?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, shit!" I blurted. "I haven't even called him for like, weeks!" To my dismay, she seemed happy by this.

"Well, you have to forget about him, you're 'dating' Jeff now, and you can't focus on any other guy except for him," she clarified. I ignored her. Was she still trying trying to change my point of view on Phil?

"Ashley, whatever you're doing, it's going to work. So just quit while you're at it."

We were in the arena now, as soon as I walked in, my face sunk even more. There he was, Jeff and his brother, Matt. They weren't looking our way at first, until Ashley opened her big mouth.

"Look who's here, guys," she mused as my eyes widened. "." Matt chuckled a little before Jeff hit him hard across the head. I didn't want to have to deal with him this early. I wanted to get to Vince's office first, that way I didn't have to be in the same room as him.

As I began power walking towards the hall, he called after me.

"Maria, wait!" I quickened my pace. "Please, can't we talk?" I stopped and turned around, I waited for him to be close enough to me, so I could slip out my next words.

"About what?"

"About last night." I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disapproval.

"No. I don't want to talk to you - let alone about last night. So forget it," I spat. As I was continuing down the hall, he pulled my wrist, forcing me to come back.

"Why not?" He breathed, still holding my wrist, holding me no less that three inches from his face.

I tried again and again to escape but I failed each time. "Let go of me!"

"Not until you tell me why we can't sort this out," he stated, his tone serious.

I tried to escape once more before caving in. Like I said, Jeff Hardy never gives up.

"Because it'll just end up the way it always does. Fighting. I don't know what's up with you. You're always changing moods. It's like you're PSMsing." I laughed at the last comment I said, while he just rolled his eyes.

He scratched the back of his head, obviously looking for an answer. "I guess you're right," he sighed, giving up. "It always does end the same way." I nodded my head in sarcasim.

"Yeah."

"I don't know how I can make it up to you," he mumbled. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, or to himself.

"Vince wants to see us in his office. We should... go," I suggessted. He nodded and followed my lead, from the vibes I was getting, I knew this meeting wouldn't fill my desires of avoiding Jeff.

--

As me and Jeff we inside the Boss's office, Vince had a big, ecstatic smile on his face, which only meant one thing: Small talk; Big money.

"Glad you guys came. Now, take a seat," he said anxiously.

Me and Jeff took our seats without another word.

"I'm just going to get to the point. You guys have been in this storyline for three weeks now. But I want to try something. Maria," he paused looking up from his papers and at me. "Since you've said how Phil doesn't watch Raw or anything like that... I've drafted him to Raw!" His face brightened even more when he said his last sentence.

This couldn't be happening. Phil - on Raw? With me, and a storyline with Jeff? What was he thinking?

Before I could speak, he continued.

"But it gets better," he paused again, rubbing his palms together. "Since you and Jeff are in a storyline, what's better than making Phil fight over you - actually Phil _and _Jeff fight over you? I'll answer that - nothing!" He started cracking up before seeing my expression and turning serious again.

"So, they're going to be _fighting _over me?" I managed to choke out.

"Yes, and that means Backstage Brawls, too. I've got the scripts and everything planned out, and the writers are looking forward to it." Yes, they're looking forward to their paychecks. They don't give a shit about writing.

"This is unbelieveable. This is probably going to effect my personal life, Mr. MacMahon," I whined. He didn't seem to care.

"And? This is going to make my business - Raw, more interesting. It'll make _your life _more interesting. It'll bring your fans more close together. You guys are doing great, and this is going to make you even greater."

I peeked sideways at Jeff and saw him staring at Vince in disbelief. He felt the same way I did.

I was staring so long, he felt it. He snapped his head sideways to look at me.

"Sorry, Phil," he mumbled. "But this is personal now..."

We didn't need anymore words to know what was going to happen next...

**AN: **Sorry for taking so long to update. But, I hope this was worth it? I don't think so, but I thought the ending was okay. So, review? Thanks! =D.


	8. Two By Two Their Bodies Become One

**AN: **Merry Christmas, everyone! Well, here's your present. Enjoy! - Oh, and don't forget to **review** =D.

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER EIGHT:**

**Two By Two Their Bodies Become One**

Four hours. Just four more hours until my nightmare begins. After hearing last week what Vince had to say - the idea him and the creative team came up with, I couldn't fathom it. It was bad enough that I had to be in a storyline with Jeff, and now Phil was going to be involved? And now they're going to fight over my affections - fight over me. The thought of them in the same room together, the thought of them convincing me with persuasion who to choose - even if it's "scripted".

There were going to be so many things I had to explain to Phil. Since I was demanded not to have any contact with him - while "dating" Jeff, I knew he was going to be angry. Now I really was beginning to wonder if Phil and Jeff were so much as _friends _anymore. But could I be blamed? I wasn't the one that was asked to be put in this. Sure, of course I was dumb enough to sign a contract out of sheer curiousity, but it wasn't intentional.

But it was too late now. Whether I want to or not - I have to deal with the consequences of my actions, and one of those consequences was unintentionally breaking Phil's heart.

* * *

"Ooh, I'd hate to be you right now, Ria."

I had told Ashley about the situation I was in and her constant smart-ass remarks weren't making the situation any better. I was stunned that she actually found this funny. There was nothing funny about this.

"Ash?"

"Hmm?"

"A little support, please?" She chuckled.

"Sorry," she choked. "It's just the whole suspense of this is mind blowing. You know, before it was almost like an adultry, but now that Phil's been added, it's like... a love triangle. Must be pretty exciting."

I rolled my eyes. "Pretty annoying if anything."

"So, what's the plan for tonight? Phil makes his debut on Raw, and him and Jeff just beat the hell out of each other? Or do they just curse each other out?" She asked, ignoring my stubborn annoyance. She was grinning, but she was obviously interested.

"It's a little more complex than that, Ashley," I sighed. "It's pretty detailed," I gulped. "The script and all." Her eyes were glowing now. She looked at me with pure satasfaction as if she completed some goal that she wanted to fulfill.

"You got the script already?! What happens?" With that sudden curiousity in her eyes, I had only one answer for her.

"I'm sure you'll be watching, so you have to see for yourself." She groaned before letting anymore idiotic questions she planned on throwing my way go. I sighed in sheer annoyance before trying to shake off the nerves that were growing inside of me.

Of course, it wasn't long before they came crawling right back, as that familiar voice echoed through my ears. And like always, I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Ashley, could I talk to Maria for a minute?" My eyes were glued to her as she smirked.

"Take all the minutes you need. I'll see you later, Ria." I couldn't speak - afraid my voice would crack, so I just nodded. She quickly winked before stalking off towards the arena.

I didn't want to - couldn't turn around. He was there, just waiting for me patiently to meet his gaze. I wasn't budging. But I could feel his stare on me getting harder, and more intense. There was no possible choice for me.

Before I could turn around, he already walked around me to meet my eyes.

I spoke before he could.

"Hey, Jeff," I said almost unsuccessfully. "Something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to talk to you about somethin'," he seemed serious about whatever he was going to tell me. It was a good thing I was nervous, otherwise I wouldn't have such a straight face like he did. He waited for me to nod before speaking again.

"Look, tonight I have to handle my business with Phil. I know he's your...," he seemed to be choking on his next word. "boyfriend, and all," he continued. "But I have to handle my business with him. Personal friendship aside. You understand?"

I digested that. "What do you mean by handle your 'business' with him?" Since my voice had a tint of sudden curiousity, I didn't sound as panicked as I had tried to hide before.

"Well," he cleared his throat. "It means that, if he gets in my way," he moved closer to me now. "I'll make sure I get in his, and any other thing or... _woman_," he paused to stare at me. I felt an unexpected dose of pleasure flash through me.

Was he... getting to me?

I let out the breath I had been holding once he walked away, and was out of sight.

I swiftly glanced at my watch before getting that spine chilling flash of panic as I read the time.

"Three more hours."

* * *

My stomach cramped as I watched him. He did exactly as he planned to do - Phil got in his way, and now he was getting in his. My stomach was doing all kinds of flips as I saw Phil getting thrown around. Had I just noticed how great of a wrestler Jeff was, or was it just that Phil wasn't at his best tonight?

Fifteen minutes later into the match Jeff had Phil in position - ready to excecute the Swanton Bomb. All I could think in my mind was. _Roll over, Phil. _But no matter how much times I prayed, Jeff submitted the Swanton and got the pinfall.

"Damnit," I muttered. Jeff wasn't known for keeping promises, but for some strange reason, I felt that he was going to keep this one. He was going to get in Phil's way, and anything or anyone special to him.

And I knew for a fact that I was special to him.

Once I looked back at the screen, I realized Jeff wasn't there. But I did feel a figure behind me, and the crowd was going pretty wild. I hesitantly turned opposite the screen and was face to face with the one person I really didn't want to see.

He was out of breath and dosed with sweat, but I had to admit, he still looked breath-taking.

"Aren't you gonna congratulate me," he asked - more like, panted. I swore he was looking into my eyes, and vice versa. But once my eyes traced his stare, I realized that he was focused on my lips.

He was leaning forward, and the crowds' cheers were accelerating. I surprisingly was freezed in my position, but still in a state of shock. Where was this coming from? The gestures? This wasn't part of the script. He was still leaning in, each breath of air was becoming easily subtracted as he was attempting to close the space.

If I wasn't shaking, I didn't know what I was doing. But the crowd cheered even louder when Phil came out of nowhere, attacking Jeff. I strained to close my ears as the crowd cheered ten times louder than before. Phil and Jeff were fighting. Nothing was fake - nothing _seemed _fake as they were striking punches. The only thing I could do was yell. Security was there, but Jeff and Phil were too strong to break up.

Now, more security was called. The refs were getting attacked now, too. I didn't know who to blame. Maybe myself for not leaving the locker room earlier. Now Jeff and Phil were ranting. The only thing I was told was to get out.

With my back to the door, all I could feel was myself falling to peices. I needed air, some other place than here. I was most surprised that Ashley wasn't anywhere around. At least that was one good outcome. Now I had a choice whether to tell her or not.

But my heart was piercing as I remembered that I had to share a hotel room with Jeff. I forgot that I'd probably get a mental ass- whooping from Vince the next day. I couldn't lose all of this, and I couldn't lose Phil. I slowly sunk to the floor with my tears.

They stung my eyes as I tried and forced for them to stay locked in place. But they just kept falling, drowning my face, and everything on it. I ran my fingers through my hair, silently choking on sobs.

Then I heard the noises in the room next to me quiet down, and out walked Jeff. He didn't notice me at first, until I accidently choked on another uncontrollable sob. His head snapped towards mine and I couldn't bare to look at him. The look in his eyes proved that he was feeling guilty. He looked like he was going to cry himself, but he didn't let up.

Without one word, he turned his back to me, and stalked down the hallway of the arena.

Fresh tears filled my eyes as I looked away.

"Why does love have to hurt so much?" I muttered before resting my head in my hands for the last time. I slipped up and walked off in the opposite direction as he walked to. I knew one thing for sure.

Tonight I wasn't going to be off the hook. Both with Phil - and Jeff.

* * *

**AN: **Not as long as I intended, but I hope everything was detailed right, and everything was interesting. But I'm sure you guys would tell me if something was wrong, right? Anyways, I thought that was a pretty angsty filled chapter, lots of drama in the following. So get ready. =D. Please review!


	9. What Must We Do To Restore Our Innocence

**AN: **I want to say thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, you guys really know how to please me, eh? Well it's time to return the favor.

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER NINE:**

**What Must We Do To Restore Our Innocence**

One thing. There was only one thing that was on my mind and one thing only: Getting out of this hell raised arena. I hadn't realized that when I'm upset, my body tends to turn on me, making me walk a little slower than usual. I hadn't even realized I was shaking until I opened my mouth, feeling my teeth rattle together.

As if I wasn't feeling low enough, now I had to deal with Jeff. He'd be waiting for me, I knew that much. He'd probably apologize, and then I'd say something that upset him, and then it'd just end up in a big arguement. As always. I couldn't even think about what I'd say to him - if I'd say anything to him. All I knew was that I wanted to get out of here, bust through the hotel's bathroom, and just drown all my problems away.

But I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

I must have been looking down to not know where I was going. I bumped into something - someone. And by the stiffness and ragged breathing, I knew that it was the one _other _guy that I really didn't want to face. But he was staring down at me like the coward I was, I had no choice but to meet his glare.

"Maria...," he said roughly, yet calmly. "Why?" I knew that his question didn't want an answer. I didn't say anything, like my intentions told me, and I just stared. But that didn't stop him from continuing.

"After all this time... how could you do this to me?" I had to speak now. He was starting to ramble.

"Do what? I didn't do anything," I whispered, not sure if my answer had enough proof.

"Please," he scoffed. "You think you're slick? Huh? You think you're little Miss Sneaky? You think I can't see? You think I didn't see Jeff attempting to kiss you, and I'd be damned if you think I didn't see you standing there, waiting!" He was on edge now. But for some reason, my mood was the same.

"I wasn't... I wasn't standing there waiting. I was," I paused. I didn't know what to say. Was I standing there waiting? In my defense I was trying to give Vince a little dose of what he wanted. "just trying to make the fans anxious."

He looked at me like I had four heads. "That's the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard! You think I can't read you? I know deep down inside of me that you _wanted _him to kiss you! You just were expecting me to come and kick his ass, and then letting you off the hook? Scripted or not, Maria, I know what motives he had. He told me way before the match, too. That little bastard," he said, gagging at the memory.

I couldn't even begin to realize how much pain he was in. Did I really go to extremes?

"Phil, he didn't kiss me, okay? And what are you now - some kind of mind reader? How the hell do you know what I _wanted_? If I wanted him to kiss me, I would have practically cracked his neck by kissing him myself! You don't think this is hard for me? You being drafted here just made all matters worse! Now I'm going to have a lot to carry on my shoulders, and by you're verbal abuse, I'm just gonna go crashing down!" My voice had all kinds of kinks and cracks in it, but I didn't care. He wasn't going to win this fight - not this time. "You just don't get it," I finished.

"No, Maria. _You _don't get it," he corrected, sidetracking me. "You don't get what kind of pain I'm going through with you. And Jeff's the one raising all hell, don't you think? Can't you see? He's tearing us apart!" That was it. I'd had enough. If this was going to go on, I was going to be the one to end it.

"You know what, Phil? Love is tearing us apart, not Jeff. So whatever little negative thoughts you have of me betraying you by going with Jeff, get them out of you're fucked up head! I don't care what you say anymore, Phil! I really don't want to talk about this anymore, and if you want this relationship to end... All I have to do is snap." I was almost impressed with myself, he was actually shocked. Open- mouthed, shocked.

I was walking away from him now, sighing in fading frustration. But then I stopped and turned back around.

"And trust me when I say this. If I snap... I'll snap on _you._"

* * *

I wasn't really sure where Phil and I stood at this point. As soon as I left the arena and was at the hotel I was feeling nothing but pure regret. I never thought in a million years I could be so cruel. Especially to a man like Phil, who I believed really loved me.

I didn't even hesitate to open the door. If I walked in and he approached me with any bullshit like Phil had, there'd be some serious hell to pay. All I wanted to do was close my eyes for eight straight hours without seeing any of their faces.

But that's why dreams decieve me.

I hadn't even had both of my feet in the door way and I already heard his voice. I stepped in all the way, figuring I looked like a mess, he was still intimidating even if I wasn't looking at him.

"Maria." His voice had a new era in it. It surprised me that his southern drawl seemed to have faded. I kept my eyes down, trying to fight the tears that were rebuilding again. He wasn't letting this go.

He slowly walked over to me, trying to examine my face, he ducked a little and know he knew I was crying. I didn't want to, but it was just a feeling that overcame me, especially when I was upset. But it was his touch that made me lift out of my low mood. He placed his hands softly on my cheeks, and lifted my head up. I sniffled, trying to look away but his irregular breathing made me curious. I looked back at him and his face was serious.

"Maria," he breathed, still holding my face, he wouldn't continue until I looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry." His voice was full of so much sympathy I almost felt bad for him, instead of vice versa. "I - " he paused, looking for the right words. "I didn't want to hurt you like that. I was just getting carried away with myself, and with you. I knew that none of what I attempted was in the script, but yet, I was stubborn and wanted to..." He trailed off.

"Wanted to what?" I asked, my voice sounding like I wanted to cry again.

"I wanted to feel what it was like to be with you. Not in the WWE world, in the real world. I still let myself get carried away and my intentions were cruel. I probably screwed up your whole relationship with Phil, didn't I?" From the look on his face it seemed like he didn't care. But I let that go.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Maybe I screwed it up myself." He looked confused, yet still apologetic.

"It's all my fault," he said letting his hands drop from my face. "I should have never even bothered you. I should have stayed in the ring, where I belonged. Now I just dumped problems on your back, and I can't live with that."

"It's not your fault, Jeff. I'm the one who got myself into this mess. If I hadn't signed the contract I'd -" Jeff cut me off by pressing his finger lightly to my trembling lips. He shook his head in pity.

"Maria, I can't stand here and let you blame yourself for somethin' that was unintentional. And, Phil shouldn't do that either. If he was a good boyfriend, or... whatever he was to you, he'd understand. But he doesn't." I couldn't speak. I wanted to hear his speech. He was giving an almighty good one, too. I couldn't believe that Jeff Hardy was understanding my position.

He actually understood me.

And Phil didn't.

"... So like I said... I can't let you blame yourself for this. You can't blame yourself for anything. And... you most definitely cannot blame yourself for this," he trailed off again, and he was staring deeply into my eyes. My blue ones met his green ones and once again, for the second time in a row, he was leaning in. And once again, I was standing completely still.

I felt a ping in my heart. Maybe it was telling me to stop him? Before I could even protest his lips crashed against mines. I gasped against his mouth as he forced mines open. I was so dazed and confused that my lips flowed in all the directions he was aiming for. My heart beats became even more erratic as I felt the new edge in his kiss. He roughly rammed me against the door, which was now slammed closed. He didn't even remove his lips from mine as he became more and more anxious. I couldn't control the moan that escaped my throat as his hot tounge slid into my now fully parted mouth.

As he lifted me up, I swore he would depart his lips from mine, but that wasn't the case at all. Instead he picked me up higher and slammed me back against the door. I thought I would be human enough to have cried in pain, but I just gasped in pleasure. His kiss was so intoxicating, I didn't want him to stop.

But fate disappointed me again. He slid me back to my feet and carefully detatched his lips from mines. I slowly put my hand to my lips, feeling just how much power his kiss even had. My lips were plump, and I was pretty sure they were red.

Both of us were breathing like hungry dogs. I wanted to look away from him, but he locked my arms behind me and pressed his body over me. There was nowhere to escape and I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

"Now, answer me," he panted, his breathing as irregular as mine. "Do you love Phil?"

But the answer was already there.

* * *

**AN: **Wow... I don't know what else to say except, review! That had to be a good chapter, right? I hope that ending caught you off surprise =D. **Review!**


	10. Never Take One Single Breath For Granted

**AN:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, it made my day. - And wow, you guys weren't expecting that, were you? =D Well I really have no clue as to what I'm trying to accomplish in the chapter, so it might not be that long. But still, review!

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER TEN:**

**Never Take One Single Breath for Granted**

It practically took me ten years to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. He was still staring intensely into my eyes and I knew he wasn't going to release me until I answered him. But I didn't want to. I couldn't. So I just stood there, my back still against the door looking everywhere else except in his eyes. I could feel his breath becoming quicker on my face.

"God damn it, Maria!" He yelled, gripping his hands harder on the door. "I've waited too long - months have passed and you're still ignoring this?" I decided I would play dumb. It was the only thing I was known for anyway.

"Ignoring what?" I asked, hoping that my blush had faded and I looked as confused as possible. He looked at me with nothing but pure hatred as he spoke his next words with nothing but pure venom.

"The question." He gritted his teeth, trying to intimidate me, I guess. It was working but I refused to let it show. I was getting really sick and tired of his nosyness and it was beginning to really tick me off. If he was allowed to be frustrated, then so was I.

"Ugh," I grunted, satasfied that I'd taken him aback. "You're so annoying. Don't you have anything better to do with your life? Stop bullying me with your questions! How much times do I have to clarify that it's none of your business?" I could tell he was stung by my sudden break out, but he still kept the same face.

"You can keep _clarifying _all you want, Maria. But I'm still gonna bother you. I'm gonna bother you until you're so annoyed, you can't take it anymore. And if that doesn't work...," he paused, seeming to look for some more words to burn my ego with. "I'll just have to kiss you senseless... _again_." He added with a smirk.

My eyes widened and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I raised my hand and connected it to his mouth. I was intentionally going to smack him in the head, but I figured it would be better if his mouth was shut.

He held the corner of his mouth which was now reddened. He looked up at me, almost... amused.

"You bitch."

--

It was almost time for the show to start. I sighed as I did my last stretch and sunk to the floor. Who knew that stretching could be so tiring? Maybe it was the fact that I'd gotten hardly any sleep tonight. It seemed like I wasn't getting any sleep lately, especially now that I had both Jeff and Phil on my mind twenty-four seven.

And the one thing I couldn't get off of my mind was that stupid, and insanely wonderful kiss. I've never ever been kissed like that in my entire life. Not by Phil or any other boyfriends I've had in the past. Sure, I'd occasionally make out with them, but it didn't have as much passion and tension in it like it had last night.

But what surprised me the most was that he actually did it. I mean - why? He knew I had a boyfriend, and he knew how much me and him connected, yet still he had it somewhere in his mind that he had to kiss me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I yelled. I didn't bother to look up since I obviously already knew who it was.

"Phil, what do you want?"

"Now is that any way to talk to your boyfriend?" He said, walking over to me.

"Funny," I said. "I didn't know I had a boyfriend." The smile on his face turned into a frown.

"Ria, don't start with that. I'm already going through enough having to see you and Hardy - don't ruin this moment for me."

"Actually Phil, I think it's the other way around. I thought I told you over and over not to ever speak to me again?" I said, knowing that I didn't really explain that to him. His face looked disgusted.

"You never said that, Ria."

I put my hands on my hips, and looked at the door past him. "Well, I'm saying it now. You know we're not supposed to be seen together, not while I'm in a storyline with Jeff," I said, getting choked up on saying his name.

"Well, Maria. Last time I checked _we_ were dating. I'm getting suspiciously annoyed that you're taking this whole storyline thing with Jeff seriously. Yet I'm your boyfriend and you don't even want me to talk to you? Impossible."

I rolled my eyes. "Phil, just go. I'm stressed enough and with all this talk, you're making me all anxious." I stated. "So leave." I saw him eyeball me as he stalked off towards the door.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Hardy, but if I catch him lay a finger on you, I'll be the living shit out of him and better yet - make you watch. Nothing would disgust me more than seeing you and that redneck together."

I scoffed. "I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he thinks when he sees you and me together. It probably disgusts him to know that I'm with you. But hey, you'll never go without a fight, would you?"

He glared before he opened the door. "Just remember what I said."

--

I sighed, pulling my hair back into a pony. Things couldn't have gotten worse. Not only did I lose my match against Jillian, but I had to be personally humilliated with her singing to me at the end. Plus I'd accidentally fallen of the turnbuckle, falling flat to my face, resulting in me with a bloodied nose. I was in such a sour mood, I didn't even want to be in this damn arena anymore.

I burst my locker room door open, still holding the ice pack I'd gotten from the trainer. The ice had already melted and it was nothing but cool water, there was no point in me using it anymore.

I packed all my things before leaving the locker room once again.

I couldn't wait to get out of this place, I couldn't wait to be in my real home in Chicago the next week. Things were getting worse and worse for me and all of my life had shrunk into a pile of shit.

I inwardly groaned, my frustration rising even more once I walked pass a certain door, hearing the one voice I couldn't bare to hear.

"Jeff, stop getting so worked up about this," Ashley said, sitting next to Jeff on the bench in the locker room. "She'll cave one day. Just give her time." I had to restrain from knocking my fists into that very door. I knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Time? I've given her time, Ashley! When is she just gonna admit it? Why do I have to be the one to admit first?" I watched as he layed his head in his hands trying to find some hope, I guessed.

"If you admit it, she'll admit it."

"I doubt it. She keeps everything to herself. The only one that seems to open her mouth is that shitty boyfriend she has. I can't get her to talk at all, I have to lose all of my self control and kiss her?" Ashley just shook her head.

"Jeff, calm down. You're starting to shake..." She looked up at him, as he dashed off the spot he was in.

"But I'm in love with her!"

And that was the last thing I heard before I fell flat to the floor.

**AN: **I really thought this chapter was boring. Boring boring boring. But oh well. I'm not in such a happy mood. And plus, when I'm bored all my creativity shuts off. But I hope that you all still enjoyed some of it. I don't know if the ending fulfilled your needs but... I'm just not so cheery right now, so please cope. And still please REVIEW!

The next chapter will be better than this.

Promise. =D.

Oh, and please VOTE on my Poll. Those of you Y2J lovers and lovers of my writing might be interested.


	11. Your Upset Face, You Wear It Well

**AN: **Thanks to all of you that reviewed the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one =D.

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN:**

**Your Upset Face, You Wear It Well**

His words were the last thing that clouded my mind. I wasn't sure if I fainted from exhaustion or because of what he said. At first I wasn't even sure that I was alive, of course until I heard the frantic and panicked voices of referees in my face.

"Are you alright, do you need medical attention?" One of them said to me.

"Get an ambulance!" I quickly stopped him with my hand, grabbing him back.

"No, no! I'm all right," I said my voice unsteady. I rougly barged through the referees who were still insisting that I get some sort of help. When I was steady enough to walk, I glanced at the no fully open door that Jeff and Ashley were once in. But it was empty. Great, I thought. I bet they saw me - they had to. And if they saw me, that must have meant that they knew what I found out.

Now, I really couldn't wait to get back to my hotel. I needed to confront Jeff in the best way I could.

* * *

I forcefull tore my keycard through the slot of my hotel room. Once the door was open, I couldn't help but barge in wanting nothing more than to see Jeff on the bed, waiting. Waiting to tell me something. Tell me if he saw me or even tell me what I heard him confess.

"Jeff?" I shouted, searching around the small suite, still seeing no sign of him. I sighed and checked the bathroom, knocking first. Still no answer. I was getting frustrated now. I was pissed enough losing my match earlier, then I had to see Ashley and Jeff talking about me - about my feelings behind my back, and now no sign of them? Leave it to them to avoid an important situation.

Was I losing my mind? Why was all of this stress being dumped on me? What had I done wrong? Why was Jeff... in love with me? He wasn't supposed to be. He was supposed to be a normal - well, almost normal guy, who didn't even care about love right now. I was supposed to be with Phil - he loved me didn't he? Didn't I love him? Now I knew why Jeff cared so much about my answer. Because he was in love with me.

Now I was the one that needed to ask questions. Now I was curious. Why was he in love with me? Why?

* * *

This might have been the first time I was anxious to get to the arena. I wasn't going to hold it in any longer. If I couldn't get contact with Jeff, I was sure as hell going to get in contact with Ashley.

"Mickie! Mickie," I panted, finally catching up with her. She turned around looking almost frustrated until she realized that it was me.

"Oh, hey Maria," she said, leaning in and giving me a hug. "What's wrong?" She said, noticing my rushed anxiety. I had to calm myself before I ended up telling her what was really going on.

"Have you seen Ashley today?" I asked, cutting to the chase. She looked suspiciously hesitant for a moment, before answering.

"Um," she paused. "Yeah, I have." She seemed to have gazed off, almost as if she was avoiding my next question.

"Are you gonna tell me where she is or..." I trailed off. To my surprise she sighed.

"She's in Matt's locker room. I don't think he's in there," she finally confessed. I smiled.

"Thanks."

* * *

I didn't waste any time getting to Matt's locker room. But of course when I knocked no one answered, except for Ashley when she nervously shouted. "Who is it?" What did it matter who it was? She should have known that it would have been either me or Jeff - Matt if he wasn't in there.

"It's Maria." I shouted back. I could tell her face went into shock.

"What do you want?" I knew she was by the door now.

"I want to talk to you," I said anxiously. "Can you let me in, it's important." I heard her sigh before I heard the lock unlatch. She stepped aside, allowing me entry. I quickly turned back around, after she closed the door.

"So what's it you want to talk about?" Now, she was cutting to the chase.

"You should know," I stated. "It's probably all you and Jeff have been talking about lately. Recently actually." By the look on her face, she knew she was guilty. But she tried to play it off.

"I don't know what you're talking about. So just go," she said, motioning to the door.

"I'm not going anywhere until I get the truth." She rolled her eyes, and folded her arms over her chest. She tapped her foot impatiently, glaring at me in nothing but pure annoyance. But I didn't care. It was her turn to feel my rath.

"What do you want to know?" She finally said.

"Did you see my match last night?" I asked, starting off easy, hoping she'd loosen up.

"Yeah, so?" She still kept her straight face, all of her amused and cocky little smirks were off the table.

"And was Jeff watching it - with you?"

"Yeah."

"So what were you guys talking about? _After _my match." She sighed and looked away. She unfolded her arms, and stood straight.

"We were talking about nothing. Nothing... important," she said half heartedly.

"So I'm not important?" I asked. She cut her eyes.

"What makes you think we were talking about you? We could have been talking about anyone. Were...," she paused. "you were eavesdropping?" She looked almost astonished, almost nervous that I might have heard something she didn't want me to hear. And that was my exact point in confronting her.

"Does it matter?" I shot back.

"What did you hear?!" She snapped.

"Does it matter?" I repeated.

"Yes! All of the things said were private, Maria. They weren't intended for you to hear. Not yet," she said, her face dropping.

"You were the one who was trying to tell me all these signs. You told me what I was going to find out sooner or later, remember? You can't just take my side so late in the months. I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of finding each day of my life getting more and more difficult. I'm sick of getting into worthless and unnecessary arguements with Jeff and Phil and most importantly, I'm tired of them fighting each other - physical or not," I stated. I had to get it into her brain at some point. When was she going to realize that it wasn't easy being me? When's she going to realize that my feelings counted too?

"Well maybe you should open your eyes," she responded. "See what's been staring you in the face all this time." I shook my head before she even finished.

"But that's not really the point right now," I spat. "the point is that I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of everyone deciding my feelings for me. No one else is entitled to my feelings except _me_."

"Maria, if that's the case; then you don't know your feelings very well. You're stuck behind Phil, you hardly even talk. He comes to Raw - causes you trouble. I bet you enjoy arguing with Jeff more than you like being away from him. Did you hear what he said - you know, since you were listening in?" She placed her hands on her hips, obviously I wasn't going to win this little battle going on.

"He," I said, preparing to choke on my following words. "he said he was... in love with me."

"Exactly. When was the last time Phil said that to you?"

I cut her off. "But Jeff didn't say it to me."

"But he still said it, didn't he? You're still shook by it, so it must mean something."

"Whatever, Ashley. I thought that if I came here, you'd be on my side. But since you want to shut me down even more, I guess I have nothing to lose." I dashed over to the door, effectively exiting the locker room.

Not until I bumped into... him.

* * *

**AN: **Cliffhanger? Hope you like it! Please review. =D


	12. Looks Can Be Decieving

**AN: **Thanks for all of your reviews! This might be worth reading...

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**Looks Can Be Decieving**

I didn't need to look up to know who it was. By the scent alone and the rapid breathing, I knew exactly who it was. We stayed like that for a few seconds, just staring and being silent. That was until he spoke.

"Can you move?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he actually trying to enrage me? Was he wanting to get on my nerves more than Ashley was?

"Um, there's something called _excuse me_. So why can't you just show a little respect?" I said, snapping before the conversation even started. He glared at me before quickly eyeing me up and down.

"And there's something called minding your own business, but you can't do that can you?" Guilt flashed through me as I realized what he was talking about. I shook the guilt off before returning to my senses of why I was even talking to him.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I asked, ignoring his last comment. He looked guilty for a moment before his stare changing into a glare. I played it safe and just looked at him casually, still waiting for an answer.

It never came.

"Look, I don't have time for this," he stated already trying to barge through me - unfortunately for him, I was somehow blocking the door from entry. "So please move." His tone was getting cold now. His face was getting hard, and by the tension that was building, he was definetely frustrated.

"Well, I don't have time for your games either, Hardy. But I'm still waiting until I recieve an answer - otherwise, I'm just going to stand here all day," I teased, putting my back more firmly across the door. I glanced back up at him and saw nothing but pure anger on his face.

"Maria," he said timidly, waiting for my response.

"Yes?" I said, feeling a smirk emerge the corner of my lips. He slowly raised his head from the floor and gazed into my eyes.

"I'm gonna count to three and if you're not off that door, you're really gonna get it," he promised - eyes dark. My eyes widened slightly wondering just _exactly _what he meant by that. I couldn't even read his expression - his tone was giving all of his emotion away.

I was smiling all the way now, but by the look on his face he was actually serious.

"1..."

Still smiling.

"2..."

I rolled my eyes.

He paused for a moment, and I had to look at him, his eyes were warning me to get off before he reached three, but I was curious to find out what he meant by, _"You're really gonna get it." _Once he saw how uninterested I was he resumed his last count.

"3."

That was it. The smirk that was once spread across my face was now gone as I felt myself being lifted off of the door, and then being rammed against the wall beside it. He stared at me ferociosly and I had to focus my eyes on something else.

"I thought I told you to move!" he yelled at me. I flinched as his words shocked me. He was actually blazing, blazing _hot._ I could literally feel the heat radiating off of him and it was becoming a part of me.

"I thought I told you to answer my question," I said timidly as my voice weakened. The grip he had on my shoulders only became tighter as he began to tremble. And the vicious glare he was giving me made me feel even more intimidated.

I swallowed thickly as I saw his eyes trail from my eyes to my now trembling lips. He was staring at them just as hard as he was glaring at me. For some undeniable reason, I felt that I was actually yearning for him. He licked his lips hungrily as seemed to have calmed down. Was gawking at my lips really that soothing? Was _yearning_ for him actually a good thing.

I wanted him to do it. I wasn't really caring anymore, I just wanted to feel something so that this giant ball of passion left me. It almost disgusted me that I was so engaged in this moment. I didn't have to be, but I felt that now I really didn't have a choice.

His lips were getting closer, and each breath was becoming more and more difficult to inhale.

He was so close to my lips it felt that he was teasing me. I felt his hot breath hit my lips and I had to try my hardest not to beg for him to just do it already.

But that's when he backed up before quickly returning to whisper in my ear.

"Did you really think I was going to do it?"

My mood quickly changed. Before I was just blunt, but now? I was really pissed.

"You son of a bitch," I shouted before connecting my hand with his mouth. If I hadn't slapped him, what else would I have done? Let him bask in all his glory? Not today. He wasn't going to intimidate me any longer. Not before I got a chance to get back at him.

He lightly ran his fingers over the now red spot that emerged his lips.

"You bitch!" he shouted before grabbing me like he had once before, but this time it was much more serious. He threw me against the wall, now shaking more than trembling. He was so pissed, and for what reasons I didn't know. He wasn't even thinking about going into the locker room, all he was focused on was trying to melt me with his eyes.

I tried to fight him off of me, but he was just too strong. Too angry.

I suddenly felt his weight shift off me as he was somewhat pulled off.

"Get the hell off her!" The person shouted.

"Phil?" I said, once I recognized him. He looked at me with concern before focusing on Jeff.

"What the fuck is your problem, Hardy?!" he yelled, causing Jeff to back up into the wall behind him. I looked over at Phil realizing that he was about to knock the lights out of Jeff. I pushed myself off of the wall and grabbed Phil's hand before he could break anything.

"Phil, stop!" I panted, still in shock from what happened moments ago. "It's okay." I was trying to make peace here, but all Jeff did was raise hell.

"No, Maria. This is _not _okay," Phil said, making my frustrations creep back out. "he had his hands all over you, he wanted to hurt you. I had to do something to put him in his place."

I looked over at Jeff who was now looking at me, supposably waiting for me to answer. But I didn't know what to say. What _was _I supposed to say? There was no way for me to explain without giving away what we'd done beforehand.

After moments of silence and exchanging of glances, Jeff grunted and got off of the wall.

"Trust me Phil, I'd never hurt her... unless she hurt me."

* * *

The next day wasn't any better. Me _and _Jeff had to meet up with Vince at the arena to talk about our next segment. I pretty much expected that nothing big could happen.

But I was wrong once again.

After me and Jeff took our seats we waited patiently while Vince just got to the important parts.

"Well, I have to say that I'm very impressed with your work. Both of you have that undeniable chemistry, and adding Phil into the mix was just brilliant, don't you think?"

Me and Jeff nodded slowly.

"Now, since there's so much frustrations going on with the storyline, I've decided to make Phil's character a little more pissed." I saw Jeff's tension calm at the thought of pissing Phil off.

Vince took that as a sign to continue. "Well, I thought: What would piss Punk off more than seeing his real life girlfriend," he paused to look at me, then he looked over at Jeff. "and his rival making out?" My eyes widened as I saw Jeff smirk.

I wanted to speak, but of course I was cut short.

"So you guys are going to recieve your scripts, you'll have a week to go over it - and then, by next Monday night you should be ready. Wow... Maria and Jeff's first kiss," he sighed to himself. I cringed at his words.

I glanced over at Jeff who quickly winked at me before licking his lips and turning his attention back to Vince. A few seconds later, I looked back at him. He was obviously taunting me with the memories of our last kiss.

"Are you ready?" He mouthed to me, before winking again.

Unfortunately, I wasn't.


	13. That's What Makes You Unforgiven

**AN: **Once again, thanks for your reviews, guys. Did I already say I appreciate them? Well, I just want everyone to know that I took my time writing this chapter. I worked pretty hard on this, and you're reviews would really pay me back, lol. Here goes nothing...

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN:**

**That's What Makes You Unforgiven**

I sighed as I let my tears fall. I'd been up all night trying to think of the perfect excuse to get out of kissing Jeff live, and came up with absolutely nothing. With each excuse I came up with, I was forced to realize that Vince would just think of a way around it. If I said was sick, he'd want me to take medication. If I claimed that I was tired, he'd demand that I get more sleep the next time, and he'd still order me to do my job.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. Why was I being such a coward? Probably because I'd have to be kissing someone who wasn't Phil. I'd have to be touched by someone who wasn't Phil. The worst part? I know how Jeff is. He'd probably take advantage of the situation - he'd done it before, hadn't he? He kissed me before, hadn't he?

But I figured that this was all pathetic. My behavior and attitude towards this was unnecessary. I'm a grown woman for Pete's sake, I shouldn't be acting like I've never done this before. But then again, I didn't have a boyfriend when I had kissed other guys. I didn't have Phil then, but I have him now, which makes what happened in the past irrelevant. It didn't matter that I had a boyfriend or not, I _had_ to do this.

I glanced up at my reflection before grabbing a few tissues out of my purse. With all my crying and moping over this, something wasn't right. If I claimed that I was so happy with Phil, then why the hell was I always crying? I decided it didn't matter at this point. I quickly wiped my eyes before re-applying my mascara. I sighed, this time, setting my phase on relaxation before heading out of the bathroom, and back into hell. The backstage of the arena.

I put my fake smile on, waving at the familiar superstars who were waving at me. My smile, fake or not, faded when I passed a certain someone who I really didn't care to see at the moment.

"Maria, wait!" She shouted, grabbing my arm as she caught up to me. If I turned around, she'd most likely try to talk more about Jeff, and I'd just get frustrated even more. I tugged her arm off of mine, and began to quicken my pace.

"Maria, can't we just talk?" She pleaded, as she followed me around the corner. Why couldn't she leave me alone? Why did she have to keep starting fights, and then always end up starting another? I wasn't going to let her do it again. But of course, it was more easier said than done.

"Talk about what?" I asked, turning around to face her. I loosened up a bit as I watched her sigh.

"Ria, I'm sorry," she said.

"You should be," I shot back. Her face looked shocked for a moment. Did she really expect me to say _'It's okay,' _while I watch her stand there, looking like the victim? If anyone was the victim in the situation, it was me. I'd be damned if I let her get away with what she's done, and then have her continue her actions. It wasn't fair to me that she had to act like it was all easy for me. And the innocent look on her face didn't intimidate me at all. What I really wanted to do was slap it right off her face, just to show her how serious I was.

She nodded her head in understanding. "I know I should be, and I am."

"Yeah, right," I stated, now wondering why I was still here, talking to a traitor like her. She shot me a look of disbelief as I doubted her.

"I am," she insisted. She eyed me as I put my hands on my hips. "so, what, you don't believe me now?" She shot me another look of disbelief, and it was finally time for her to be put in her place.

"Of course I don't! Ashley, do you realize how much you've been telling me that you're sorry? For months! I've forgiven you for it before, but ever since two weeks ago, I just couldn't believe it anymore. You went behind my back with Jeff, discussing my feelings like you've been inside my head. And what do you mean that I'll _'cave one day'_? What in the world is making you believe that I have a thing for Jeff?" I looked up at her, seeing nothing but confusion and guilt across her features.

"Well?" I said, waiting for her worthless response. When I got no answer I just said: "Exactly. You don't know a damn thing, Ashley. I'm so disgusted by you that I don't even want to see your face right now. Just note that I love Phil with all my heart, and I'm still _in love _with him. So forget your doubts, and just deal with it." I tore my eyes away from her pitiful ones and stalked off.

"Stop lying to yourself." That was the last comment I heard before I rounded the corner.

--

I was on in five minutes, and Jeff wasn't even backstage yet. Was he just as freaked out by this as me? Of course not, he was Jeff Hardy, how could he be? He was the "Risk taker," the "Charasmatic Enigma," he couldn't be nervous.

But yet again, I was beginning to believe that he actually was.

"Have you seen Jeff today?" The camera guy asked me, I looked at him apologetically before answering.

"No, I haven't. But I'm sure he'll be here, just let a few more commercials run. He should be here in five," I assured him. He rolled his eyes, before answering.

"Okay, five more minutes." I nodded in agreement, figuring that if Jeff didn't show, the whole segment would be canceled and Vince wouldn't be a very happy camper. One thing I've learned about Vincent Kennedy McMahon: He'd fire you in a second if you didn't deliver.

Sure enough, five restless minutes later, Jeff came barging through the locker room, startling not only me, but the camera guy as well.

"Sorry I'm late. I got into a little bit of a tussle," he explained. He looked over at me, giving me a once over. "Lookin' beautiful today, Maria." The compliment threw me off, and I almost forgot my line.

"Um, thanks Jeff, you do too," I said, flushing once I realized how stupid that just sounded. But then again, my character wasn't the smartest person on Earth, so I just went along with it anyways.

He gave me a confused look and then chuckled. His once amused expression switched to a more serious one as he stepped closer to me.

"I mean it," he stated. Boy, I _hated _that I had to say what I said next.

"Wow, Punk hasn't told me that in forever," I exaggerated. His eyes darkened at the mention of Phil's name being morphed with my words. He cleared his throat before saying his next line.

"Well, I bet _Punk _hasn't done this to you in forever either," he said, leaning forward to capture his lips with mine. I couldn't help but get tense. Sure, it hadn't been our first kiss, but it still felt like it was.

My breath caught as I realized that his lips were looking for my ear like it had the week before. But I wasn't having that. For some odd reason, that not even I could fathom, I pulled him by his shirt and crushed my lips against his. Now, I really had a reason to kiss him: For teasing me before. The kiss got more heated, as the cheers of the crowd began to accelerate. He was kissing me fiercly now. I parted my lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

I whimpered as I felt him throw my back against the wall, breaking the heated kiss for only a second before crashing his lips down on mine once more. He tore his hands away from my face to grab my legs and wrap them firmly around his waist.

The cheers began to loosen as the camera guy yelled cut.

It seemed as if we hadn't heard, because we still continued our kiss. He yelled cut again, but we still ignored. We were too engaged in each others' lips to even care what the consequences of this was.

After for what seemed like hours, Jeff broke the kiss. He traced his fingers over my lips before releasing my legs.

"I love you," he whispered. My eyes widened in shock.

He just admitted - confessed his love for me.

He looked at me in wonder as he saw me struggling to get my words out.

"I..." I paused. "I have to go," I said, freeing myself before I felt the salty liquid mark my face. He tried to grab me, but I tugged away from him, exiting the locker room. I ignored the Superstars and Divas who were walking by, looking at me with nothing but shock and pleasure written all over their faces.

My tears were freely flowing now. No, not because I was sad. But because I was actually crying. I was crying tears of joy.

I had a lot of explaining to do.

--

**AN: **Okay, I hope that that was intense, because gosh, that took me forever to write. Yeah, it was three pages long, (if you even want to call it that) but it was full of important emotions, feelings, and kisses ;) - Speaking of kisses, it's their second, lol. PLEASE review this chapter. If I wanted you to review any chapter at all, it would be this one. Thanks!


	14. Just Let Me Fall

**AN: **I figured that I've made you all wait too long, so I thought: Why not update? And most importantly, thanks for your reviews :D This chapter I think is kind of a filler, but I guess you could say there's some action. Anyways, review!

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN:**

Just Let Me Fall

The one word that kept repeating in my head was _why._ Why? Why was I stuck in the middle of this? Why had all of this happened to me? My life was completely enjoyable at first. I had Phil, I had Ashley, and I was having fun at my job. But ever since Jeff's party, my life has been nothing but drama. Even before his party, I found that my life was becoming a little more complicated. At first I was doubting that Phil even cared about me. With all of his going aways, and just leaving notes behind, I swore that we were falling apart. But once I was beginning to grow on Jeff, it was like a wake up call for Phil to really start appreciating me.

But all of that was irrelevant now.

Why? Well, it's irrelevant because now I'm finding myself stuck in this love triangle. After Jeff told me he loved me, I didn't know what to say, so I ran out like the coward I am, and just released my pressure. But something came over me that day. It somehow felt like I was waiting for him to tell me, even though I already knew. How could he be in love with me, though? There's nothing special about me. Jeff Hardy wasn't the type to focus so much on relationships. It was like he was a relationship of his own. He's pretty good at being independent, so why does he want me?

There'd be only one way to find out.

But there was one thing that kept bugging me: My emotions were now all out of whack. Actually, I think everyone's emotions are out of whack. With my little confrontation with Ashley, I'm pretty sure her momentum is low. After I practically had sex with Jeff on national television, I'm pretty sure Phil's not in the best of moods. And after confessing his love for me, I'm pretty sure Jeff isn't so happy that I walked out on him.

But that's how love goes, right?

I sighed once I realized why I came to the arena. It was my day off, so I'd probably be getting questioned pretty harshly, but that didn't matter. What I had to focus on was properly handling my whole situation. With Ashley, with Phil, with everyone.

I decided it would probably be smart to start off with Ashley first. She'd probably be the easiest to confront, although I had doubts considering that what I had said to her was bitchier than any other thing I've said to her in my whole friendship with her.

I shook the thought off before hesitantly knocking on her locker room door. I could see through the cracks of the door that she was fixing her hair in some strange form or another.

"Hold on," she shouted, while continuing her hair. I dozed off for a few moments before I heard the door open, and her figure was shadowing over me. I glanced up at her before seeing her expressionless face.

I was about to speak, but she beat me to the punch.

"So I guess I was right all along, huh?" I gave her a bewildered look, before returning to my aplogetic state.

"Look, Ashley, I know you're mad at me-"

"No I'm not," she replied, cutting me off, yet faintly surprising me.

"You're not?" I threw her a bewildered look before she began to explain.

"Well, I guess I still am in a way, but after seeing that whole segment between you and Jeff last night, I'm having doubts. I mean- _finally _you see what my point was. I was just trying to help you, Ria, show you that you're relationship before wasn't...," she trailed off. "I was trying to show you that you and Phil... you guys just don't mix. There's something about you and Jeff that just draws everyone here to you guys. Especially the fans," she added.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. I mean, seriously, what does she want me to do? What am I supposed to do now that my life just got suddenly more complicated? Everything is becoming too complex, and if I don't get out of it somehow, I'm just going to end up suicidal.

I've thought about doing it before.

"So what am I supposed to do now, Ashley? I haven't talked to Phil since last night, and Jeff didn't even stay in my hotel room either. How am I supposed to confront the two people that I really don't want to see?" I was practically begging, pleading for a method to get out of all this.

"If you just follow the signs, you'll know what to do... you'll know who to choose." After that last remark, I had no choice but to shoot her a glare.

"I already have a boyfriend, Ashley. Stop making this harder for me," I spat.

"Hey, don't blame me. _You're _the one who came here, don't stop me from doing anything," she shot back. I intentionally rolled my eyes.

"I came here to apologize. The least you could do is be a little more thankful that I even took the time to think about you," I countered. Here I was trying to show a little sympathy for my behavior the other day, and yet again she was focusing on starting yet another arguement with me. If she keeps this up, I just might have to smack her. Hard.

"Save it," she replied after my pause. "just do something that'll help you, and go talk to Phil."

"Why do you care so much?" I asked, out of sheer curiousity.

"Because I'm sick of watching you and Phil's relationship fail everytime I see you two together - _If_ you two are together, anyway. When you're with Jeff, it seems so right, like you guys were meant to be. He's got that edge and Phil? He's just _straight edge._ Not as exciting, don't you agree? And plus, after last night, there's no denying how you truly feel, right?" I ran a hand through my hair before answering.

"Um... look, I'm just going to find Phil like you said, okay? It would be better if I got this over with, _don't you agree?_" I felt completely ashamed that I was being so insecure about this, but I had to avoid questions like these for as long as possible.

"I guess I'll take that as a yes."

--

It wasn't difficult to find Phil. He was probably the only superstar, besides Ashley, who had been in his locker room. I didn't want to confront him at first, but I figured, what the hell, I'd have to deal with it sooner or later.

"Phil, would you please just hear me out?" I begged for the thousandth time, trying to block the door from being closed. He sighed and took the pressure off for a moment.

"I don't want to hear anything you've got to say, Maria. Telling from your actions last night, I think you've said enough. Now, unless you want me to hurt your feelings, I suggest you get the hell off of my door," he said brutally burning me with his words.

"Phil, just listen," I pleaded. He wouldn't budge.

"Why should I?" He countered.

"Because, it's about us," I said, eyeing him as his expression softened a little, but his eyes were still careful.

"Us? I didn't know there was an _us._ I thought that you and Jeff were an item," he said bitterly. I quickly glared at him, feeling the strongest urge to physically damage his face, like I'd done to Jeff a couple times.

"Phil, that's not fair," I said, getting pissed that my voice was beginning to crack. He looked at me with disbelief before slightly leaning on the door frame.

"I'll tell you what's not fair, Maria." he started, already changing color. "What's not fair is the fact that everyday, every _time _I see you, you're with _him._ Everytime I want to talk, or want to make plans, you're always busy with him. What do you think that makes me feel like, Ria, huh? If you think it makes me feel like shit, then you're correct! And then... for you to get yourself wrapped up in a storyline with Jeff, it just made me want to gag, and what really made me sick was seeing how you were kissing that bastard! You were practically fucking him, do you realize that?!" I flinched as I felt his words sting me.

"I..."

He cut in. "I'm glad you do. Maybe I was wrong to get myself involved with you. Maybe I was wrong to date you." He scoffed, "Maybe I was really foolish for loving you," he finished coldly. I don't know what it was, but from his last words, I swore I felt a sudden piercing in my heart.

Now I was holding back sobs. "I guess you were," I replied, my eyes too teary to even see his sudden change of expression. As my tears rolled down and burned my cheeks, I could see that he was shocked.

"What?" He asked, still shocked.

I tried to hold in my tears, but with each word I spoke, more and more kept rolling down. These, of course, were tears of pity.

"I said I guess you were foolish- anybody's foolish to love me. When you get with me, all you get is drama. Ever since I came into your personal life, what have I caused you? Nothing but pain, right?" I brushed my hand over my cheek, trying to get out of this sappy mood. "I'm nothing but trouble, Phil. I'm nothing but trouble," I repeated. When was he going to realize that I had nothing else to offer him?

It almost looked as if he was going to shed some tears of his own. But of course, he held them in.

"So... this is it?" He cleared his throat. "We're over?"

"_If you just follow the signs, you'll know what to do... you'll know who to choose." _

I remembered Ashley's words, having a feeling I was going to regret what I was going to say next:

"I think it's for the best. Plus, it would be easier to do the storyline, since I know you actually do hate Jeff..."

"That I do," he admitted rather proudly. "because he stole you away from me. He stole my one true love away..." I sighed, not wanting to restart this whole thing again. "I was your true love too, until he came along." I rolled my eyes.

My next words slipped out so fast, I wasn't sure if I was thinking them or not.

"Phil, my only one true love is Jeff Hardy."

"What?"

I opened my once closed eyes and realized that that wasn't Phil's voice. I hesitantly turned around to be met with the eyes of none than the topic of our subject.

"Jeff..."

**AN: **Yay! This chapter was longer than the last. I thought it was pretty good. Hope you do too! Review please!


	15. Life's Like An Hourglass

_A/N: This chapter was meant to be 2 chapters, but I thought that I should have this chapter long since there's a little surprise at the end. And just to let you all know, after this chapter... there's only one more left. Stupid, I know. But it's all for a reason. So keep reading! And thanks for all the people who reviewed the last chapter! _

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN:**

Life's Like An Hourglass.

Words. Usually I always had something to say, but now, now I was at a loss for words. And the look on Jeff's face wasn't making it any easier for me to speak. Now I was the one going behind his back. Now I was the one who was releasing my feelings to someone. This was nothing but Karma. Before, I was the one who had caught Jeff in the act, confessing his feelings to Ashley, and now he was catching me. The saying _what goes around comes around_ was definitely coming back to bite me.

I shifted my eyes from his in search of the floor. I didn't even want to look at Phil. He was probably just as in shock as Jeff was, and as I was for that matter. My head was practically falling to the floor.

Why was this so hard? Why was it so hard to stare anyone in the face anymore? Before I even became acquainted with Jeff, I'd never been this intimidated by him. But of course, after his party and everything that followed, I found myself more and more nervous around him.

Suddenly a warm finger tilted my chin up a little, momentarily bringing me out of my daze.

My eyes were once again met with his. I threatened to look back down, but his stare was straining me from doing so.

"What did you say?" He asked. I glanced down at the floor again as if it would give me some kind of strength to give him an answer, but of course, it didn't. That only left me with one conclusion.

"Nothing," I lied. "I didn't say anything."

"Really? It didn't sound that way to me," he protested. I rolled my eyes before looking back at Phil, who then rolled his eyes as well. I took my eyes off of Phil and returned my attention back to Jeff, who was still staring at me.

"What?" I asked, wishing that he'd stop staring at me that way. "I don't really appreciate you burning a hole through me."

"Well, I'd appreciate you telling me the truth," he countered. I groaned and rubbed my temples. All of this... All of these minor arguments, and all of the tension was giving me a migraine.

"I told you already," I started. "_I didn't say anything._" I didn't want to be the one to lose my temper, (since Jeff was usually the first to lose his) but he was really getting on my nerves. Why couldn't he let this go?

He always wanted an answer from me.

He always wanted something from me.

"Doesn't feel good, does it?" He said casually.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, intentionally narrowing my eyes. "What doesn't feel good?" He chuckled before answering.

"Gettin' caught in the act," he replied. "Denyin' what you say isn't such a smart move, believe me I should know," he said before slightly winking. This was funny? Was this actually funny to him? I knew exactly what he was trying to say. He's thinking that he can overpower me, he thinks he could intimidate me to the point where I just explode and tell him everything, but that's not happening.

Especially with Phil standing next to me.

"What's your point?" I asked, just wanting to cut to the chase. His once slightly amused expression was now washed away.

"My point is that I heard what you said, Maria, and now you're denyin' it," he said, his face now serious. "And don't even deny denyin' it, because you were." I sighed before shaking my head in disagreement.

"How am I denying it? You could have been hearing things. Your ears can decieve you sometimes, you know. And if you heard what you claim I said, then what's the point of me repeating it? Think about that before you jump to any conclusions," I finished bitterly.

"The point of repeatin' it is for you to prove to yourself that it's true. Tellin' it to Phil isn't gonna help your situation," he said.

I scoffed, "So what if I told Phil?"

"After you told Phil, what were you gonna do? Just go on with your life, hidin' your feeling's right?"

"N- No," I stuttered, feeling guilty since I knew that's exactly what I was going to do. "Yes." I said giving up.

"Exactly," He said before sighing. "Stop fighting it, Maria. If you love me... you love me," he said. I swallowed thickly at the word "Love." It was getting more and more difficult to just say the word.

"You don't get it," I tried to explain, but he cut me off.

"I don't get what?" My temples were throbbing now. How would I even beging to explain? When was he going to realize that all of this is wrong? When's he going to realize that all of this is just some sick attempt at fate?

Never.

"Forget it, Jeff, just forget it," I snapped. "If I explained, you still wouldn't get it. You'd probably just find some way to protest everything I said, anyways. I can't date you, okay?" He was attempting to say something but I was now the one who cut him off. "No, Jeff, you're going to listen to what I have to say, damn it!" To my surprise, he actually looked stunned for a moment.

Was I intimidating _him?_

After getting a little satisfied, I continued, "Look, I just broke up with Phil not long ago if you wanted to know, and in breakups, when did the rules say: _'You must now date Jeff Hardy because you have been accused of saying that you love him'?_"

He chuckled before answering. "Since when were there rules in breakups? You seriously make no sense," he finished darkly.

"Oh, _I _don't make any sense? And you do? Being a complete asshole to me, and then expecting me to actually _be with you_? You _must_ be on drugs," I finished just as darkly as he did. Again, I wanted to find a rewind button and take back every word I just said.

But with the look of complete hatred on his face, and the fire in his eyes, I knew that there was nothing I could do but stand there and look like a complete fool. Was I crazy? Why did I have to go and bring up his past?

I was about to speak, until I noticed that my back was no longer free. No, because it was now, like always, rammed up against the wall. I momentarily stared Jeff in the eyes before looking around for any source of help.

But Phil wasn't there.

In fact, no one was around, except for a guy from the production crew, who had headphones on and could hear nothing except for the loud music blaring through his ears. Then I looked back at Jeff who had his eyes narrowed now, glaring at me through the slits.

"What do you think you're doing!" I yelled, trying to get out of his grasp, but of course being the weak link I was, I failed at every attempt.

"Puttin' you in your place," he said after a moment.

I found his face moving closer and closer into mine, knowing exactly what he was going to do. He'd done it once- twice if you want to get technical, but he wasn't going to do it again.

"Jeff Hardy, I swear if your lips so much as even slightly _brush _against mines, I'll bite the shit off," I threatened.

He scoffed for a moment, still leaning in. "I'd like to see you try," he challenged.

"Don't tempt me, Hardy. Because if you kiss me, I promise you that I'll kick you in the nuts," I warned. He still didn't seem convinced. "I'm serious, Hardy, try me I dare-" And this time I was cut off by his lips.

I tried and tried to force myself off, I actually tried to bite him, but his lips were colliding with mines so viciously, that it was almost painful. But of course I had no control over my emotions, which were now forcing me to kiss back.

"God, Jeff, why do you do this to me?" I asked in between his kisses.

"Because you let me."

He then pulled away, and motioned for me to follow him.

"What the hell?" I said, letting go of his hand which was holding mines.

"We're goin' back to the hotel, what's your problem?" He asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be working? I'm the one who's off, not you," I reminded him.

"Yeah, but we're in a storyline together."

"And?"

"And that means if you're off, I'm off."

--

"Look," I began. Jeff looked up waiting for my response. "I'm sorry if I've been really timid lately. I can't help it, I'm getting poisoned by all of this relationship stuff, so you can't really blame me," I said.

"I know, I know," he said. "Didn't we already have this discussion not so long ago... up against that wall?" He said cockily before pointing to the wall where our little heated moment took place for the first time.

"You're an ass, you know that?" I said, smacking his arm a little, not even wanting to hear his answer. "Anyways, I'm going in the shower, and when I come out, don't even attempt to talk to me. You're not forgiven if you wanted to know."

"Fine by me."

During my shower I couldn't help but think about the events that were occuring in my life. After breaking up with Phil, I thought that the drama would just desolve, but thanks to Jeff and his ears, I know that my life's still going to be complicated.

And that's exactly what happened. It got more complicated.

Once I was done with my shower, and changed, I sighed before opening the door. All I wanted to do was sleep; get rid of the headache.

But that wasn't happening any time soon. Especially because of the horrid sight in front of me. I knew that he couldn't possibly be sleeping. When people sleep, don't they usually breathe?

Well, he wasn't.

"Jeff," I said, using my hand to shake him a little. "Wake up."

He still didn't move.

"Jeff, if this is some type of joke, I swear I'll kick your ass," I warned, shaking him more. I sighed, and turned him over. If he was really "awake," and if he was normal, he'd react when I tickle him.

"I'm warning you," I pressed. "I'm about to tickle you."

Still no movement.

As soon as I began tickling him, he didn't react at all. He didn't even move the slightlest, and he still wasn't breathing. I glanced at the pillow next to him, which looked like it'd been sat on over and over.

As soon as I lifted to pillow, a small blue post-it note was there.

I glanced back at Jeff and saw no change of his movement. "If this is some prank letter, I swear I'll kill you."

But once I read the letter it looked like someone already did that for me.

_Ria,_

_Did you really think I'd let you move on without me?_

_..._

--

_A/N: Oh, no! More drama? Hmm, maybe I'll have a few chapters left. Hope you all enjoyed, and thanks for the reviews once again. Review this too! Oh, and sorry for the LONG wait. I've been a little busy lately, but hopefully this makes up for it._


	16. Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare

_A/N: Ok, please don't hate me, but... this is the final chapter of this fic. I know, I was going to have a couple more chapters, but all of the ideas I had were stupid, and it would just make this story look suckish. But this is the last chapter, and I hope that this answers all of your questions, because... well I shouldn't say anymore, you'll see once you're done reading. Thanks so much for everyone who reviewed this story, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know, and there'll be more from me in the future, trust me. Thanks again, and enjoy! (Italics are flashbacks)_

**Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare**

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN:**

_Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare_

"_Jeff! Jeff, come on please wake up," I urged, throwing the note to the side, and shaking him even harder. He was on his back now, meaning it would be possible for me to see his chest moving up and down, but it didn't. In fact, it wasn't moving at all._

_I departed my hands from his stomach, and moved it up to his chest. I was momentarily relieved after feeling the movement of his heart. My relief was shortened once my focus was on the note. I slowly picked it up, and read it over. Who could have done this? Did someone do this? Or was this just Jeff trying to get back at me? But it was impossible for someone to not do it. The handwriting wasn't anything like Jeff's. It was slightly neater, and it looked like it'd been rushed._

_But once I read it over once more, I nearly fainted once everything became clear to me._

_The handwriting was disguised, but it wasn't disguised good enough. I knew that handwriting anywhere, and it certainly was not Jeff's. Plus, it was writing in dark red pen, and not just any red pen. It was the pen I had gotten Phil not too long ago. I tried to shake it off, telling myself that it was just a coincidence. But that assurance faded once the final clue came to my attention._

'_Ria'? Nobody calls me Ria besides Phil, the exception being Ashley, but she's probably still pissed at me, so I doubt she'd call me that. So Phil was the only one. Phil had to be the only one._

_His last words, 'Did you really think I'd let you move on without me?' Only gave him away even more. Glancing back at Jeff, I realized that it wasn't the best time to just be thinking about Phil. I'd deal with him later._

_I picked up the phone near the bed, and called for an ambulance..._

Me, Matt, and Ashley stood emotionally in the far corner of the waiting room. We'd been in the hospital for hours, still not hearing any kind of response or news about Jeff's condition, and it was beginning to irk me.

"Sweetie calm down," Ashley whispered, trying to soothe Matt, who'd been in complete shock as soon as I called him and told him what happened.

"Phil," he muttered. "I'm gonna kill that bastard!" Ashley began rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. I took my eyes off of them briefly once I saw another figure enter the room.

"Guys," I said, getting their attention. "Doctor's here." I watched them as they both grew stiff, nothing gaining their attention more than the Doctor before them. He quickly glanced at me before speaking.

"Are you all family of Mr. Hardy?" He asked, eyeing each one of us.

"Well, I'm his brother, but they're his friends," Matt answered timidly. The Doctor nodded briefly and continued informing us.

"Well, he's unconsious right now, but luckily he's breathing now." I sighed in relief. As long as he's breathing, I'm fine."

"But," he cut in, "It's proven that he's been strangled. He's been strangled so bad that we're not a hundered percent positive that he's going to make it," he said in an apologetic tone.

"What?" I cut in, starting to hypervenilate. "How can someone die from being strangled?! I mean, sure you can die from being strangled, but Jeff's breathing like you said, so what sense does that make?"

"Miss, please calm down. His air passage isn't in the best shape right now, and he's unconsious. I'm fearing that it's much worse than a coma," he said. I narrowed my eyes.

"Well, no one cares what _you _fear, Doctor... whatever your name is. What about what _we _fear? What about what _I _fear?" I said, my voice beginning to crack. If Jeff turned out dead, I'd have no other choice than to take Phil down with him. He's the one that did this, I'm sure. He wasn't getting away with it.

"Miss, I don't know what else I can say to you. You're free to go visit him if you'd like, but if you're just going to stand there throwing tantrums at me, then I'm going to have security escort you out," he warned.

"Sorry," I muttered. I glanced over at Matt who's tears were threatening to spill over any second.

"Matt," Ashley said. "You should go first, you're his family," she insisted.

"No," he cut in. "We're all going in together," he protested, looking over at me.

"Maria probably wants to visit him seperately. Isn't that right," she said, turning to me. I shrugged in response.

"I guess that's a yes then."

The Doctor made room for them to pass, and turned his attention on me.

"Aren't you his girlfriend?" The Doc's question threw me off guard.

"What," I spat. "Who's girlfriend... Jeff's?"

He nodded, and my eyes grew wide.

"No, no, no. You've got that all wrong, Doctor..." I trailed off, not knowing his name.

"Smith," he answered for me.

"Dr. Smith," I repeated. "Look, I am not Jeff's girlfriend." I assured him.

"Judging from television, you are," he insisted.

"Televi– " I stopped once I knew where he got that idea. "Dude, hasn't anyone ever told you that wrestling's scripted?" I asked him.

"I know that it is, I'm just saying you play the role so well, it actually made me think that you two had something going on in your personal lives as well," he commented. Was that a comment?

"Maybe I am a better actress than I thought," I said, bragging a little. "I never planned on making it so believable, but I'm pretty glad it paid off."

"What's with Punk?" He asked, almost changing the subject.

"I honestly don't know," I replied. I didn't even want to think about Phil at the moment, espcially since I knew I'd have to visit Jeff soon, and I knew once I saw Jeff, thoughts of Phil would just race through my mind once again.

"That kiss between you and Jeff," the Doc said, breaking my thoughts once again. "That was pretty good revenge, don't you think?" I don't know what it was, but I suddenly felt like the storyline was real. The Doc's questions were beginning to bug me, even though they only dealt with the storyline.

"Yeah," I answered. "Not good enough revenge, though."

"What do you mean?" He asked, once again annoying me with his nosyness.

My answer died at my lips once I saw Matt and Ashley returning. They still looked sad, Matt looked even more depressed than before, and it was pretty obvious that Ashley had been crying.

I quickly walked over to them. "Is he okay? Is he still breathing?" I asked, and they nodded, neither of them saying anything.

"You can go see him now," Ashley said, her voice cracking the slightest. I looked them over once more before heading out of the emergency room. As I walked down the halls, I could see other families gathered around, awaiting the Doctors' news. Some looked relieved, and some looked miserable.

I just wish that misery wouldn't be the case for me after I visit Jeff.

My eyes were watering, and as soon as I walked into his room, all of my tears came running down. There he was, still unconsious, although his breathing seemed pretty normal. I looked over at the moniter which was right beside him, I wasn't a doctor or anything, but his heart rate didn't look too good.

I walked over to his bed, and sat on the very edge of it, but I was close enough to touch him.

"I don't know what went wrong," I said aloud. "I can't believe this is what it came down to. All because of me signing that stupid contract," I said, cursing myself for bringing back those memories.

My eyes traveled to his neck, which was tainted red, turning slightly purple, probably from all the strangling. He didn't look like he'd wake up any time soon. Unless he woke up, I'd be speaking to myself all night.

"Look, Jeff, I know you can't hear me right now," I said, my voice becoming light, "But you have to know that I didn't mean for things to end like this." More tears threatened to spill over, and they did.

Not even bothering to wipe my eyes, I resumed talking, calming down a bit, for his sake.

"Jeff, I promise, Phil will pay for what he did– _if _he did it. I can't believe he's stoop this low, and actually put your life at risk like that. I shouldn't have took so long in the shower..." I said, blaming myself again. "He should have strangled me and not you."

"I don't even know where he is," I continued, still talking to myself. "Probably waiting for me to be alone again, huh?" Oh God, what if he's some kind of psycho now? What if he stalks me, what if he actually kills me? My tears were free falling now, and nothing was going to stop them.

I looked at the monitor again, still seeing squiggly lines. As soon as I glanced back at Jeff, I heard that all too familiar noise that I usually heard in movies, whenever the patient was dying. It was that strange, annoying beep that threw more shock in your heart than ever.

_No, no, no._ I thought, slowly turning to look back at the monitor. _Please tell me this is some sick joke. Please tell me that it was the room next door..._

But I was wrong. The monitor's squiggly line was now completely straight, which only meant one thing.

Jeff's dead.

"No!" I screamed, so loud, I thought it would bring him back alive. "No! No! No! Jeff, you can't be dead," I said getting up and shoving him. "This isn't happening! Jeff, please, get up!" I heard shuffling footsteps coming towards the door, and doctors were soon rushed inside, along with security.

"No," I screamed again, reaching back for Jeff as two guards tried to pull me away. More footsteps came, heels this time, so I knew it was Ashley and Matt. I screamed again, my voice becoming hoarse; my throat becoming sore.

"Please!" I begged. "He's not dead!" The two doctors hovering over Jeff's bed, shared glances at each other before quickly covering him up. That was like the emphasis of Jeff being dead.

I could see from the corners of my wet eyes that Ashley and Matt were in just a bad state as I was in.

"Ma'am! We're sorry, but he's dead!"

"No!"

"We're sorry."

"No! No! No!"

"Maria, please calm down," a calm voice stated.

"No! No! No!" I closed my eyes and just cried, just not wanting to see all the horror that was before me. That was until I felt a hand steadily shaking me, urging for me to open my eyes, but I just couldn't. I wouldn't.

"Get off of me you!" I yelled. "Why can't you guards just get a fucking life!"

"Ria, calm down! You don't know what you're saying.

At the sound of _'Ria' _escaping the guys' lips, I was having a feeling that it wasn't a security guard. As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw that my surroundings were completely different. I wasn't at the hospital. There were no signs of doctors, guards, Ashley, Matt, or even Jeff. I was strangely at my hotel room, the same hotel room that I'd been in before, except someone was here with me, and it wasn't Jeff. As Iooked to my right, I saw that there was one person in my presence that I didn't want to see at all.

"Get the hell away from me!" I yelled, quickly backing up, only to bump my head on the wall behind me. I still moved, until I was off of the bed. Phil was over the other side in no time trying to help me to my feet.

"Don't fucking touch me," I hissed, pulling my hands back. He looked at me with a shocked, confused expression.

"Ria, calm down. Why are you yelling at me?"

"You killed Jeff, you son of a bitch! You killed him, and you have the nerve to ask me why I'm yelling at you?" H e still looked confused, and almost hurt.

"Killed Jeff?" He scoffed. "What are you talking about?"

"Ever since the storyline, you've been so jealous, and after I dumped you, you went and fucking killed him, you jealous bastard!" I shoved him viciously, and he stumbled a little.

"What story– Maria, you were dreaming," he said. I glared at him for a few seconds before realizing that he was right. As I looked down at myself, I could see that I had my pajamas on. There was no way I could have changed that fast.

"Oh my God," I whispered in disbelief. "You– You're telling me that all of that stuff never happened?"

He nodded. "You were dreaming. I was here the whole time."

"So there's no storyline?" I asked.

"No storyline, Ria," he assured me.

I couldn't believe this. All of that drama, all of that bullshit was all just a dream.

It seemed so real to be a dream.

But that's all it was. It was all a dream.

**THE END!**

_A/N: That's it folks, review? Happy with the outcome? =D. All of that was a dream. EVERYTHING. Told you I'd surprise you at the end._


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